


Whatever I am, I'm Yours

by WinterRose527



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-03-13 15:06:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterRose527/pseuds/WinterRose527
Summary: A chance meeting outside a coffee shop gives Sansa and Jon everything they needed.*This is a continuation of the story I started on Tumblr, and pulled out of my In any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you Drabble collection*





	1. Chapter 1

_Thank the gods its Saturday_ , Jon Snow thought as he made his way down the cobblestone streets with his husky, Ghost.

It had been a long week, though with working in the defence department, they were all long weeks. His boss Mormont had sent him home after a couple of all-nighters, and Jon squinted in the sun, so unused to it. _No wonder Sam tells me I have resting bitch-face_ , he thought as he caught a glimpse of his grimace in a shop window.

“You don’t mind my resting bitch-face, do you boy?,” he asked Ghost who looked up at him with a dopey smile, his tongue lolling to one side. _Perhaps not my toughest audience._

They got to Jon’s favourite coffee shop, Wintertown Roast, and he left Ghost at one of the outside tables. He didn’t bother securing his leash on anything, Ghost would never leave, and if he did have the inkling, there’s no leash that could stop him anyway.

He went inside and grabbed a large black coffee and a newspaper and gratefully accepted the bowl of water the barista Pip filled for Ghost.

When he’d settled back outside, he surveyed the front page of the newspaper. Ghost hummed happily at his feet, his head raising every so often to sniff the air and watch the people as they went by.

**ENEMIES TO THE EAST: What is the Westorosi Government not telling us about the murders in Essos?**

_Plenty_ , Jon thought, thinking back on the images he’d seen over the past week, some vigilante militia had been purging the upper ranks of Yunkai and Mereen.

A rattle against the window breaks him out of his thoughts and he turns to see what has to be the most beautiful face he’s ever seen…pressed way too close to the glass.

He gives the woman an incredulous smirk, cocking an eyebrow as if to say _How can I best be your humble servant until the day I die?_

“CAN I PET YOUR DOG?,” she shouts, though there is only a thin later of glass between them.

He isn’t quite sure he can speak, at least not without making an ass out of himself, so he simply nods, dumbfounded.

He hears the door of the cafe open behind him and he nudges Ghost with his foot. Ever the wingman, Ghost comes out from his spot under the table and sits regally with his chest puffed out.

That is for all of three seconds, until he is then attacked by a mass of russet curls belonging to a girl no older than four.

“Kitty, no! What did I say? Not all dogs are like Grey Wind and Summer, you have to be careful,” the woman he’d seen in the window says as she nervously runs to pull Kitty back.

“Oh uh, don’t worry about her…not with Ghost anyway…,” Jon says, though the beauty had already stopped when she’d seen Ghost fall to his side, his tail wagging as the little girl starfished on top of him.

The woman turns to him and smiles, tucking a lock of auburn hair behind her ear, “Sorry she has a wild father and two teenage uncles… decorum hasn’t quite steeped in yet, despite her mother’s best efforts.”

The little girl looks vaguely like her, though her curls are darker than her mother’s straight locks and her eyes are an otherworldly green compared to the woman’s clear blue. _Beauty sure runs in the family though, the wild father is a lucky man._

“I’m sure you’re doing the best you can,” Jon said, and the little girl’s peel of laughter brought a grin to his face, “Your daughter is adorable.”

_Adorable? I didn’t even realise that word was in my vocabulary._

“Oh she’s not my daughter,” the woman said, kneeling down so that she could survey Ghost and the little girl, “She’s my niece, isn’t that right, little one?,” she asked, swiping the girl’s nose lightly with her index finger.

_Niece! So maybe she isn’t married after all…._

“Mmhm,” the little girl said. She’d now taken to sitting on the sidewalk, lounging back against Ghost as if he were a couch. The look Ghost gave him seemed to say _Can we keep her?_ “Auntie Sansa and me are having a girl’s day,” Kitty said proudly with the tone all children seemed to get when they felt they were being treated like adults.

“Is that so?,” Jon asked, in a voice he didn’t know he possessed, “You must be pretty special.”

“Mmmhm…and Theo and Billy aren’t allowed!,” Kitty said triumphantly.

“Her older brothers,” Auntie Sansa explained, “Twins… six years old… half-boys, half-wolves,” she said with a loving smile.

“Awooooooooo,” little Kitty let out, howling at the hidden moon.

AWOOOOOOOOOO Ghost said, mirroring her howling. This earned him giggles and pets from Sansa and Kitty. _Ham_.

“Sorry to have disrupted your morning,” Sansa says quietly as she stands up, “My family all has huskies too, she’s got kind of a one track mind around them,” she says, though she looks fondly, and if he’s not mistaken, a bit sadly at her niece and Ghost.

“Do uh…do you have one?,” he asked. _Maybe we could walk them together, or maybe they could just hang out in my living room while I kissed every inch of your gorgeous body._

He felt like a pervert. Here she was, out for a pleasant morning with her niece and all he could think about was what those legs would feel like wrapped around him.

“Not anymore,” she said quietly. _I’m an idiot._ “Anyway, I’m sorry -?”

“Jon,” he said, clearing his throat, hoping to recover. “And don’t be sorry… well… maybe you should be a little sorry, I’m going to be a poor substitute after Kitty, aren’t I Ghost?”

“Can Ghost come to the park with Auntie Sansa and me?,” Kitty asked him, addressing him directly and imploring him with those _really unfair_ wide green eyes.

“Oh, sweetling, we’re going to have to say goodbye to Jon and Ghost soon, okay? They’ve already been so nice letting us say hello, haven’t they?,” Sansa said, picking up her niece and pressing her forehead against hers.

Of course, the smart thing to do would have been to agree, to say he had a busy morning. But Kitty held onto her Aunt’s neck and looked at him with a small smile, as though she _knew_ he wasn’t very smart, and Ghost had sat up, picking up his leash in his mouth the moment he’d heard the word ‘park’.

_This is not a duo I would bet against._

“Well…I mean… we wouldn’t want to crash girls day,” he said, and earned a smile from Sansa that stopped his heart. He looked at her, wordlessly communicating his intention so that the child and the dog couldn’t blame her if she said no.

Sansa looked at him, and he could have sworn that her eyes travelled briefly to his lips. She bit her lip and turned to Kitty, “Well I don’t know… do you think we should make an exception?”

 _What four year old knows the word exception?_ He wondered.

“Maybe just this once,” Kitty said with an amused smile, sounding very much like she was repeating something she’d heard many times before. _Maybe from her mother, who indulges her wild father and wolf-brothers. Another beauty to be sure._

Sansa let Kitty down and the little girl promptly picked up Ghost’s leash. The pair started walking down the sidewalk, Ghost shifting so that he was in between the little girl and the road.

“Come along then, Jon,” Sansa said, picking up her coffee and smiling back at him as she started following them, “You can tell me all about the enemy to the East while they take over the world, one swing set at a time…”

Jon grabbed his coffee and his newspaper, and jogged to catch up with them. Wherever they were going, he’d follow.


	2. Chapter 2

“Mommy!,” Kitty shouted as they arrived to the soccer field, tackling her mother who was sitting on a flannel blanket. 

 

“Hi baby!,” Myrcella ‘Ella’ Stark said, smoothing Kitty’s curls as the little girl settled in her lap. “Did you have fun with Auntie Sansa?”

 

“Yeah! We had hot cocoa and went to the park and I climbed the monkey bars, the whole way!,” Kitty said excitedly, “Jon helped a little but I did it Mommy!”

 

 _Jon?_ Ella mouthed over her daughter’s head at Sansa and she couldn’t help but blush. 

 

 _Jon_ Sansa mouthed back, biting back a smile, and Ella being Ella didn’t press the matter, not with so many ears around. 

 

“Oh Kitty, thank the gods, we need you,” her little brother Rickon said as he came over to pull his niece out of her mother’s arms. Kitty went happily, and took the hat her uncle was wearing and pulled it on her own head, “Now what do we tell Theo and Billy?”

 

“NO PRISONERS!,” Kitty shouted, earning looks from a few of the parents. In their defence, this was a six year old’s soccer game. 

 

Rickon clearly didn’t see anything wrong with it though, because he said, “That’s right, Kitty, NO PRISONERS!”

 

Billy and Theo were the first to take up the chant, but soon all the other boys on their team took it up, as Rickon jumped up and down in the middle of it all. 

 

Her brother Robb buried his face in his hands, shooting apologies at the referees and other coaches.

 

Ella took the opportunity and tugged her down, completely unfazed by her 4 year old daughter starting a riot. 

 

“Jon?,” she asked again. 

 

Ella was her oldest friend and Sansa should’ve known that her one-track mind would go right back to this. 

 

“We met him at the coffeeshop,” she said, then by way of explanation, “He has a husky.”

 

“He does, does he?,” Ella said and smiled when Sansa blushed, “Well you can borrow my daughter any time you need a wingwoman.”

 

Sansa smiled and bit her lip, thinking of how helpless Jon had been with her. 

 

“I may take you up on that,” Sansa said and Ella turned to her incredulously. There were tears in both their eyes when they met. 

 

Ella put an arm around her and kissed her temple. “This is good, Dove, this is really good,” she whispered.

 

 _I think so too,_ she thought, as she burrowed into her sister-in-law’s embrace.

 

***

 

 _Just text her_ , Ghost seemed to say when they got home from their errands. 

 

 _Just text her_ , he seemed to say again, when Jon had eaten his take-out dinner. 

 

 _Just fucking text her_ , he seemed to shout, as they got into bed. 

 

Jon was not known for his words so texting was his absolute nightmare. Emojis always seemed crazy to him, and he often overthought his punctuation. 

 

But when a girl like Sansa Stark gives you her number, it is your moral imperative to text her. 

 

They’d had a great time at the park. Kitty had made it her mission to find Ghost the perfect fetch stick, and while she’d run around, Ghost at her heels, making sure everyone gave the little girl a wide berth, he and Sansa looked on, chatting about this and that. 

 

He’d learned that she was from a big family, three brothers and one sister, that her older brother Robb, Kitty’s father, had married her best friend. 

 

He learned that she worked for a non-profit now, though she’d originally studied to become a fashion designer. 

 

He learned that she could jokingly reference obscure facts from ancient history and thanks to Kitty, that the back of her left knee was obscenely ticklish. 

 

But most of all he’d learned that he was a total fucking goner, though he’d known that the moment she pressed her pert nose to the window of the coffee shop. 

 

He pulled out his phone, looking in wonder at her contact _Sansa Stark._

 

**_Jon: Hi Sansa, it’s Jon… I hope it’s alright that I’m texting you._ **

 

**_Sansa: Would have been rather strange of me to give you my number if it wouldn’t be…_ **

 

_Idiot._

 

**_Jon: Good point. How did the game go?_ **

 

**_Sansa: It was a blood bath, literally. Kitty incited a riot and the Winterfell Wolves played the dirtiest game of first grade soccer I’ve ever seen._ **

 

**_Jon: Classic Kitty._ **

 

**_Jon: So, do you think I could take you for a drink this week?_ **

 

He had to wait a long time for her response, but it was worth it. 

 

**_Sansa: Yes, I think you could._ **

 

He didn’t waste anytime texting her back. 

 

**_Jon: Thursday, 8 o’clock at Weirwood?_ **

 

**_Sansa: I’ll be the one that looks like me._ **

 

Jon’s smile lasted the rest of the weekend, and he earned more than one dumbfounded glance during the Monday morning debrief. 

 

***

“Let me see the black again,” Ella said into the computer on Wednesday night. 

 

“Just a minute,” Sansa said, before disappearing back into her closet and pulling on her black turtleneck. 

 

She had it paired with a black and gold brocade mini skirt, black tights and structured black flats. 

 

She posed in front of the camera of her computer, so that Ella could see the whole outfit. 

 

“Do you guys really not spend enough time together?,” Sansa’s little sister Arya asked as she appeared in Ella and Robb’s kitchen, waving hello to Sansa. 

 

“Don’t be jealous, sissy,” Ella said, smacking a kiss on her cheek, “I’m just helping Sansa here choose an outfit and then I’m all yours.”

 

“An outfit for what? Donor meeting?,” Arya asked as she started chopping carrots at the kitchen counter. 

 

They’d invited Sansa over for dinner as well tonight, but she knew Robb wanted to speak with Arya alone. He was worried she wasn’t finishing university (at 23 she was already behind a year) and he didn’t like to have those conversations with Sansa around. As close as the girls were now, their teen years had been fraught with normal sibling discord that could still start to simmer when Arya felt she was being attacked. 

 

Robb, a father of three, was also the father for his younger siblings, given that their parents had died when she was seventeen. Both Bran and Rickon lived with him and Ella still, as they were still in high school. Robb never complained though, and in truth, he was the best man she knew. 

 

Ella caught her eye through the screen and it was Sansa who said, “No…I sort of have a date.”

 

This perked her little sister’s interest. It would have even perked Rickon’s at this point. 

 

“Is that so?,” Arya said, as though it didn’t matter to her. _You don’t have to tiptoe around me anymore,_ Sansa thought, though it touched her all the same. “Well it wouldn’t hurt to show off the goods Sans, don’t you have anything a little bit more booby?”

 

“Haha Auntie Arya said booby!,” she heard Billy say as Robb entered the kitchen, with a son holding onto either arm and Kitty on his back. 

 

“Billy, sweetling, please take your sister to wash her hands for dinner,” Ella said, nipping that in the bud, “Theo, you go too, please.”

 

The three children slowly slid off their father and out of the frame, though Sansa heard Kitty saying something about how she was the one that had to make sure Billy washed _his_ hands. 

 

“Hey Dove,” Robb said, his face getting comically close to the computer. He who was one of the brightest political minds of his generation was a total dorky dad when it came to technology. 

 

“Hello Robbert,” Sansa said, suddenly wishing she had taken Ella up on her offer to come to dinner. 

 

“What’s this I hear about a date?,” he asked as he stepped away, going up behind his wife and pressing a kiss to her neck. 

 

“ _Get a room_ ,” Arya said, making gagging noises.

 

“This whole house is our room,” Robb said, sounding less like a man nearing thirty and more like a cocky older brother. “Now, Dove, what’s this I hear about a date?”

 

“I think the connection is cutting out,” Sansa said, pretending to poke her computer screen, “Can you guys hear me? Ella? Robb? KITTY CAN YOU HEAR ME!?!?!?”

 

“YESSSSSSS,” her little niece said, running back into the room, Grey Wind at her heels. 

 

“Nice try, Sansa,” Arya said with a grin, “Too bad Kitty is more adept with technology than her father.”

 

“Old Mr. Luwin is more adept with technology than Robb is, so is Grey Wind come to think of it,” Rickon said as he came, into the frame, his dog Shaggy behind. 

 

“He has other talents,” her middle brother Bran said as he came in with his friend Jojen.

 

“He certainly does,” Ella said, giving Rickon a playfully reproachful look. Rickon, helpless as ever against Ella, threw his hands up in defeat before planting a kiss on his sister-in-law’s cheek and shepherding his nephews to the table. 

 

“So a date?,” Robb asked again, but their family was settling in around the table and Ella was calling him over to carve the turkey she’d made. 

 

As the commotion takes over, Ella comes over to the computer and winks at Sansa, _my emotional bodyguard,_ “You don’t need to be booby to dazzle him, Dove. You look perfect, text me if you need anything, actually, text me regardless.”

 

She blew her friend a kiss and signed off. 

 

She knew she should be nervous for tomorrow, and she was, but more than that she was excited. 

 

 _When you’re older, I hope you find someone brave, gentle and strong,_ her father had once said.

 

_Me too, Daddy, me too._

 

***

 

Jon walked into Weirwood, one of the only cocktail bars in the city he could stand (he was more a fan of pubs), at 7:59. He’d intended to change after work, but he’d gotten stuck in a meeting and had to text his friend Sam to let Ghost out just so he could make it on time. 

 

He was wearing a black suit with a white collared shirt, though he’d unbuttoned the top button and lost the tie on his way over. He sat down on one of the bar stools that had a good view of the door and ordered a whiskey neat. 

 

He felt the mood change in the room and he turned towards the door, where Sansa Stark had just glided in, looking gorgeous and untouchable in a black turtleneck and black and gold skirt. She didn’t wear heels, but her legs seemed to go on for miles in those black tights and she drew the gaze of every male in the room. 

 

He stood up and waved at her, catching her answering smile somewhere deep in his ribs.

 

“Jon,” she said as she neared him, planting a hesitant kiss on his cheek and filling his nose with the sent of lavender. 

 

“Sansa,” he said, and he knew that he sounded the fool. He said her name like he couldn’t believe she was standing in front of him, because he couldn’t. 

 

“Something for the lady?,” the bartender asked as Sansa slit into the seat next to Jon.

 

“Vodka martini with a twist, please,” Sansa said. Then she turned to Jon and smiled at him shyly, tucking a lock of auburn hair behind her ear.

 

“Did you uh, have a good day?,” Jon asked and could swear the bartender shook his head in pity as he set the martini down in front of Sansa.

 

“I did… I had a meeting with our accountant and we are 90% cleared for a new venture, so a couple months a head of schedule… how was yours?,” she asked as she took a sip of her drink.

 

Jon was distracted by the way she licked her lip to catch an errant drop. He didn’t like vodka, but he would have been more than happy to do that for her.

 

“It was okay,” he said and she narrowed her eyes at him.

 

“You wouldn’t be able to tell me though if it weren’t, would you?,” she asked him with a grin.

 

Jon chuckled, _too clever for your own good_ , “No, I suppose I couldn’t… well I could, but I’d have to blame it on the rain or a flat tire or something.”

 

“So Jon, any flat tires?,” she asked, leaning forward conspiratorially, as though she were a spy in a film noir.

 

He took up her game, because he’d take up anything she proposed, and he shook his head and leaned in, whispering in her ear, “And not a cloud in sight.”

 

She let out a giggle, a tinkling sound that warmed his insides and held up her glass, “Well here’s to blue skies.”

 

“And to you, Sansa Stark,” he said, clinking it with his own.


	3. Chapter 3

 

_Stupid. Stupid Stupid Stupid STUPID._

 

Sansa had been berating herself thus for the better part of twenty minutes. She’d driven out of the city for a visit to the county orphanage and on her way back her car had broken down.

 

_If only I’d taken Bran up on his offer to check the oil last week._

 

The road she was on was technically a highway, but she hadn’t seen another car in the twenty minutes since she’d pulled off the the side. Even if she had, common sense told her that might not be the solution she hoped for. 

 

It was nearing dark and there was a bite in the air. 

 

_Okay, just breathe, it’ll be fine._

 

She went into her back seat and wrapped her tartan scarf around her like a cloak. She then went into her glove compartment and pulled out the pepper spray Robb had stocked in it when he’d gone with her to buy the car. 

 

She pulled out her phone to call her big brother, _It’ll earn me a lecture, but probably a fair bit of coddling too_ , when she saw that Jon was calling. 

 

Her stomach now tied in knots for a different reason. Their date the night before had been the best date she’d been on in years, or maybe, ever. Not that that was exactly high praise in and of itself, but it had been what all dates should be. Exciting, scary, fun. She’d felt more in the kiss that Jon had pressed to the corner of her lips than she had in any prior relationship.

 

“H-hi Jon,” she said, cursing herself for how nervous she sounded, “Can I um call you back?”

 

“Yeah yeah of course - all okay?,” he asked, and to her ears it sounded like he was genuinely concerned. _Not that those ears haven’t steered you wrong before when someone said all the right things._

 

“Yes just some car trouble, I just need to call Ro-“

 

“Where are you?”

 

“Jon you don’t have to come, Robb lives for this stuff.”

 

“Where are you Sansa?”

 

“I’m on I-33 somewhere between Exits 10 and 11,” she said, thankful she at least always paid attention when she drove. 

 

“Twenty minutes. Get in your car and lock your doors until I get there,” he urged.

 

“Jon it’s really - “

 

“Please, Sansa. Please just do what I ask, I’ll be there soon sweet girl.”

 

_Sweet girl? What’s the point of you rescuing me Jon Snow if you’re just going to KILL me with endearments like that?_

 

“Okay, I am in my car, I’ll see you soon. And Jon?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

***

 

Jon knew rationally that she was fine. It wasn’t yet dark, and he had a feeling that Sansa knew how to take care of herself. She’d mentioned a kick-boxing class her and her sister-in-law take, and something in the way she’d said it made him think that it was to prevent something from happening to her, again. 

 

However, apparently rational thought was not something he had in high supply when it came to Sansa. There was something about _this_ girl that robbed him of all sense. 

 

Memories from their date the night before threaded through his mind as he drove too quickly out of the city. She was incredible, every day dream he never dared have, all in one _auburn-haired-long-legged-blue-eyed-do-gooder-devoted-aunt_ package. 

 

She was strong, and intelligent, far more than he, but there was a vulnerability too. There was something to her that reminded him of the new layer of skin as a cut heeled. Something hopeful and determined, but fresh from trauma. 

 

He thought she might be an orphan. For how much she spoke of her family, she never mentioned her parents. She spoke of her brother Robb like her sole protector, and spoke of her younger siblings more like a mother than anything else. He was an orphan too. There was a vulnerable part to him too that wanted to hold hers, that wanted to say _I’ve been left too, I am not afraid of what remains._

 

Where Sansa still had a loving family, Jon had been on his own since his mother died. He’d been placed in a group home, which is where his boss and mentor Mormont found him after he’d excelled on a few personality exams the home made you take to ensure you wouldn’t be a threat to other children. 

 

He passed exit 12, and urged the pedal, knowing he was closer made him all the more nervous. _Get a hold of yourself, man._

 

He passed exit 11 and slowed down, looking for the car, grateful that the road seemed to be deserted because he surely would piss off any cars behind him.

 

He saw what had to be her car, a dark grey Range Rover pulled over to the side. He pulled over to the other side of the road, and sprinted across, waving at her. 

 

She unlocked her door, stepping out with a bemused smile, “You didn’t have to come…”

 

_Foolish girl._

 

“It’s no trouble,” he said instead, shuffling from one foot to the other, aching to pull her into his arms, “Did you call a tow?”

 

“Yeah, they should be here in about ten minutes,” she said and her teeth chattered.

 

“Well come, come, we can wait in my car, the heats on,” he said, taking her hand in his. He nearly flinched when he felt how cold it was, “Sansa you’re a block of ice!”

 

“Poor circulation,” she said, and he didn’t miss how she pressed her hand into his, as if trying to transfer more heat to her. 

 

He walked her around to the passenger side and let her in, then ran over to his side. He turned up the heat and took her hands in his, not even bothering to look at her before he blew hot air on them, rubbing them quickly between his to generate heat.

 

He looks up at her and she is looking at him, her clear blue eyes hazy as they trail down to where their hands meet. They both move forward an eighth of an inch when her phone starts buzzing. 

 

She shoots him an apologetic look, saying it might be the tow truck, and closes her eyes when she sees who it is. 

 

“Hi Robb,” she says, and she sounds like a little girl. 

 

_Sansa?! Sansa are you okay? I just saw your text I’m so sorry dove, where are you, I’m in the car I’ll be there as soon as I can just GET IN YOUR CAR AND LOCK YOUR DOORS._

 

Jon had to fight a smile as Sansa let out an annoyed sigh. 

 

“Robbie I’m fine okay, it’s just a bit of car trouble, but you don’t need to come get me, um… someone already has,” Sansa said, shooting a nervous glance at him. 

 

_Who?!_

 

“Jon…,” Sansa said warily. 

 

_Who the fuck is Jon?_

 

“Ask Kitty,” Sansa said teasingly and Jon had to choke back a laugh. 

 

_Put me on speakerphone._

 

“Robb…”

 

_Put me on speakerphone or so help me Sansa…_

 

‘I’m sorry’ Sansa mouthed at him before hitting speaker. 

 

“Uh hello Robb,” Jon said, clearing his throat. 

 

“Jon…thank you for getting Sansa…I really appreciate it but um… _if you hurt one hair on her head I will fu-“_

 

“Robb! Are you forgetting the part that _he came to rescue me on a Friday evening_ bit?”

 

“Sansa, we’ve talked about this…,” Robb said as though long suffering and Jon pictured a male version of her with the bridge of of his nose pressed between thumb and index finger. “Is a tow truck on its way?”

 

“Yes, should be here in just a minute,” Sansa said.

 

“Good, we’ll set two more places for dinner,” Robb said. 

 

“Oh, Robb I don’t know what Jon has planned for the eve-“

 

“We’ll be there soon,” Jon said and Sansa looked at him as though he’d betrayed her. He couldn’t help giving her a cheeky grin.

 

“Very good,” Robb said and clicked off. 

 

Sansa sat there silently looking at him. 

 

“I ju-“ he started but she held up her hand. “I thi-“ she cut him off with a look, “Do-“

 

“Oh Jon… Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon,” she said, shaking her head as though he were the stupidest man in the world. 

 

Perhaps he was, because all he could think of was the different ways he could pul his name from her lips just like that. 

 

***

 

_It’s going to be fine. You love your family. They love you. This is totally norm-are you a fucking idiot? Your family is anything BUT normal. Bran and Rickon have probably enlisted Billy and Theo to secure the castle’s defences by now._

 

The tow truck had showed up only a few minutes after they got off the phone with Robb and they were well on their way to Winterfell, just outside the city line. It was her ancestral home, Starks had lived in it for generations, and regardless of what was awaiting her, she felt stronger as Jon pulled onto the mile long dirt driveway. 

 

“So this is your house…,” Jon said with a sense of reserve in his voice. 

 

It surprised her that he would sound intimidated, she knew from time spent with Bran and Rickon that his car must be in the six figures, but there was something ancient and imposing about Winterfell. It was a home that fortified those who lived in it. 

 

“It’s my family’s house…I’ve got a flat in the city,” she said and tried to lighten the mood, “Fewer ramparts, more throw pillows.”

 

He chuckled, a deep woodsy sound that made her stomach flip. 

 

She directed him to a spot in the circular drive and hopped out of the car, this time, prepared to protect _him_ at all costs. The front door opened and all of a sudden three huskies were jumping up and down, fussing over her like they always did. 

 

 _They still miss Lady_ , she thought sadly. But she pet and kissed them all, making sure that all of them knew they were loved _equally_. 

 

Jon got out of the car, and the three dogs who had previously been dopey and loving, stood in front of her, her loyal foot soldiers. 

 

Jon looked at her and at them, and held the back of his hand out to Grey Wind, the leader of the pack. 

 

Grey Wind sniffed him, and within seconds was weaving in and out of his legs, Summer and Shaggydog hamming it up for attention once it was clear Jon had been approved of. 

 

Jon gave her a grin and she shook her head with a smile, “Don’t get cocky, my brothers won’t be _nearly_ as easy.”

 

“Now, now Dove,” her elder brother Robb’s deep voice cut-in, “Don’t scare the man, that’s my job.”

 

“Robbert Hoster Stark!,” the sweet voice of Ella reproached from behind, “What on earth will he think of us?,” she came out from behind him and he looked appropriately chagrined, he was a helpless fool for her. “Dovey, I’m so glad you’re alright,” she said and wrapped Sansa in her arms. All of the tension uncoiled in that moment as Sansa hugged her back. When Ella pulled apart she addressed Jon, Grey Wind stepping in front of, even though he’d approved of Jon, he wouldn’t take any chances with her. “Jon…,” she said, holding out her hand, “I’m Ella Stark, thank you for bringing her back to us. You are so very welcome here, and if _anyone_ ,” she says, eyeing the three dogs and her husband, “Gives you any trouble, you just tell me and I’ll sort them out, alright?”

 

Sansa grinned as Jon looked at her dumbfounded and nodded. Sansa was used to Ella getting this reaction, at 26 she looked more a girl than a woman, until she opened her mouth and you could believe she was as ancient as the walls of Winterfell. 

 

“Good,” Ella said, looping and arm through his elbow and pulling him into the house, three dogs and two Starks trailing her, “Now I hope you like pot roast but if you don’t I’ll find you else something.”

 

***

 

Winterfell had to be the warmest place he’d ever been. With fires crackling in multiple rooms, the smells wafting from the kitchen, and the comfortable, loving way Robb and Sansa teased one another, each looking to Ella to play referee, it was like stepping into a dream. 

 

“JONNNN!,” a tiny but determined voice cut through their conversation as a miniature being hurled herself into his arms. 

 

“Beauty!,” he said as she hugged him close, engulfing him in the smell of her children’s shampoo. _You Stark girls are going to kill me._ She left her arms on his shoulders, but pulled back so she could appraise him, “Where’s Ghost?”

 

“Ghost is at home, missing you,” he said as Sansa came over and made the little girl giggle by pressing rapid fire kisses to her cheek. _And you’ve done it. I’m dead._

 

“He is _all_ she talked about last weekend,” Ella said as she handed him a beer, “Made Grey Wind all kinds of jealous.”

 

“Auntie Sansa!!!,” came two more little voices, belonging to two boys who except for their eyes, which were the same blue as Sansa’s could not have looked any more different. One was fair haired with an equally sunny demeanor, while the other had dark brown curls. 

 

Sansa let herself be tackled by her nephews as Kitty shouted words of encouragement.

 

“I fear you’ve stepped into a rather odd house,” Ella said to him as two teenage boys walked in, making quick work of their nephews, starting a victory lap around the kitchen that had all the dogs going wild. 

 

She was a wonder, and Jon had instantly understood the reverence with which Sansa spoke of her. She couldn’t be older than 25 or 26 but she gave the house a sense of calm by her steadiness. It was obvious her husband was a fool for her, and given how breathtakingly beautiful she was (just like he’d predicted), it made sense. But it made Robb marginally less terrifying, seeing him be silenced by a well timed smirk. 

 

“I’m really glad I’m here,” he told her truthfully, knowing that there was too much commotion for anyone else to hear him. 

“Oh Jon,” she said, her eyes drifting over to Sansa. If he wasn’t mistaken, there was a mist in them, “So am I.”

 

***

 

“That is _so_ not true! It was an _accident_ ,” she exclaimed, “Ella tell them!”

 

Her best friend took on a solemn expression and turned to the grinning faces of the men assembled, “It’s…well it’s true. It was an absolute accident that Gregor got his tongue stuck to that pole… Sansa told him to _kiss_ the pole, not lick it.”

 

Sansa chucked a pillow at her friend’s head and she looked very unlike a mother of three when she stuck her tongue out at her. 

 

“Too good, too good,” Rickon said, tears rolling down his eyes. 

 

“Well uh - I think it’s best I be going,” Jon teased and earned a cackle from Robb as he stood up. 

 

They’d had a fair bit to drink after the children had gone to bed, and her brothers, even Bran and Rickon who were drinking coke and didn’t need alcohol to loosen their tongues, had taken to pulling out _The Official List of Sansa Stark’s Most Embarrassing Stories._

 

“No, no, no,” Ella said as she rose and went into the fridge to grab him another beer, “You’re not going anywhere, Snow.”

 

Jon took it from her with a thanks and settled back into the couch where he sat beside Sansa. The way he sat caused Sansa, who had a bit too much to drink herself, to slide closer to him, and she found herself up against his sturdy body. 

 

He turned and gave her a grin, draping an arm on the couch behind her and she couldn’t help but cuddle in a bit closer. 

 

“So Jon, what are your intentions with our sister,” Rickon asked. _Oh you look so much like Dad when you sit back like that._

 

“Careful, Little Wolf,” Ella cautioned, stroking Rickon’s curls. 

 

“No uh, it’s a fair question,” Jon said, clearing his throat. “But the truth is, I don’t really have _intentions_ per se…,” he said and Sansa felt her face grow hot. _Maybe he just wants to be friends._ “Other than to just let her absolutely ruin me.”

 

Ella was the first to grin, but it was Robb Sansa looked at it. 

 

_He could be it Robbie, couldn’t he? The man Mom and Dad wanted for me._

 

Robb nodded at her.

 

“I’ll be gentle, I promise,” she said, taking his hand in hers. 

 

***

 

Only the pressure of Sansa’s hand kept Jon from spinning out of control. He couldn’t really believe that he’d said that, but he couldn’t not say it. 

 

He had been doomed from the first moment they met, and every moment afterwards only proved that he had could not have chosen a lovelier downfall. 

 

The conversation continued around him but all he could think of was Sansa pressed against his side. 

 

“Well, seeing as how I’ll be woken at 6 tomorrow, I think I will call it a night,” Ella said, standing up, “Jon, please stay over, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with you driving home now.”

 

“Oh, uh, of course, Ella,” he said, clearing his throat. He had never had someone fuss over him, he feared he would grow used to it. 

 

“Your room’s waiting for you, Dove,” Robb said, following his wife into the kitchen, bringing empty beer and wine bottles, “Come on Jon, I’ll show you the guest room.”

 

Ella hugged her husband around the waist, “Come on, my love, I’m sure Sansa is perfectly equipped to show him the guest room if she wishes.”

 

“Ella,” Robb growled. The two appraised each other, a war of wills. She clearly won.

 

“Goooodnight,” she sing-songed, “Oh there are extra toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet,” she shouted as Robb threw her over his shoulder.

 

“Night Sans, night Jon,” Rickon said, standing up, “I’m _just down the hall_ …if you need anything I mean.”

 

Jon chuckled. Being threatened by a sixteen year old was not something he’d experienced since he himself was sixteen. 

 

“Night guys…,” Bran, the older and more reserved of the two said, standing and dragging his little brother down the other hall.

 

When he and Sansa were left alone, that crackling electricity from the car returned. She stood though, and he followed suit.

 

“Bedtime, I think,” Sansa said and he nodded. 

 

She took him up the stairs, down one of the wings that contained three rooms. 

 

“That’s the guest room,” she said gesturing to the end of the hall. Then she opened the door behind her, “But um…this is my room.”

 

Jon peaked in. It was very much what he would expect her childhood room to look like. Feminine but uncluttered, with a large four poster bed. 

 

“It’s uh…nice,” he said. 

 

He stepped closer to her and let his nose brush into her hair, his hands circling her wrists, feeling her rapid pulse. She lifted her head, her lips against his cheek, her fingers threading through his. 

 

_This is madness and I desire my oblivion._

 

“Do you, do you…,” she said. 

 

But they were already stumbling back into her room. 

 

“Yes, yes,” he answered against her lips. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Jon woke up under a fluffy duvet with a smile on his face. As a rule, Jon Snow did not wake up smiling, but then again, he’d never woken up in Sansa Stark’s bed before. 

 

They hadn’t had sex, but he had felt her purr against his body as he teased her and had fallen asleep holding her. 

 

She had been so afraid when she stopped them from going further, as though he might either push her or push her away. _Oh my sweet girl what has been done to you_? He wondered as he swallowed her apologies, telling her that it was alright, that he’d wait, wait forever, that it was enough, more than, just to have her here, that he was grateful, that he was hers. 

 

He knew it was crazy. He’d known her for all of a week. He was not a man accustomed to grand gestures, to falling head first, but with Sansa in his arms, he couldn’t be bothered to care. 

 

Of course, the smile disappeared when he realised that she wasn’t in his arms anymore. She wasn’t in the bed at all. 

 

He rose, wandering into the bathroom, and as Ella had promised, found a toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. After brushing his teeth he pulled on his pants and shirt. With nothing left to do, he headed down the stairs. 

 

He walked through the living room, where Rickon was sitting on the floor, Kitty on his lap lounging like he was her own personal bed, watching cartoons. 

 

“Jon!,” she said, stepping all over her uncles legs as she stood up and walked over to him. 

 

“Morning beauty,” he said, crouching down so he was more or less at eye level. 

 

“Mommy said I should get you breakfast when you woke up…,” she said and took his hand. 

 

“Well lead the way,” he said, letting her lead him into the kitchen. 

 

Robb sat at the kitchen table reading a newspaper as his sons ate cereal.

 

“Morning,” Jon said, not quite sure how to ask _Where is Sansa and are you going to kill me before she returns?_

 

“Hey man, let me grab you some coffee,” Robb said to his surprise. He bent down and picked up Kitty on his way over, holding her upside down and eliciting shrieks of laughter. “Mug please, baby,” he said and Kitty opened one of the cupboards and pulled out an oversized mug. 

 

He plopped Kitty down on the counter and filled the mug with coffee, keeping his body in front of his daughter’s the whole time. _So that’s what a real father looks like_ , he thought. He’d never had a father, and none of his friends had babies yet, though Sam had one on the way. But everything about the eldest Stark screamed _father_ , from the way his boys fell in line with a simple word, to the way his children had collapsed on him after dinner, crawling all over him like he was their hero and entertainment centre rolled into one. _Just like I thought, a lucky man._

 

Jon came over and grabbed the mug gratefully, sipping the coffee. _So this is what it’s like to wake up in a home_ , he thought. He never felt sorry for himself, he was fine with his life. But this coffee was made by someone other than him, and the kids and Robb were still in pajamas, and after this there would be soccer games and family dinner and life. 

 

“Thanks, gods this is good,” he said and Robb nodded with a grin, “Where’s Sansa?”

 

“She’s kicking!,” Kitty said and then did a very convincing karate kick. 

 

“Kick-boxing,” Robb translated, “She and Ella met Arya - you haven’t met her, have you? - anyway they met her for the 8 am class so they should be home any-“ he started but was interrupted by all of the dogs in the house. 

 

“ROBBERT HOSTER STARK MAKE ME PANCAAAAAKES,” a petite brunette in exercise clothes came in shouting.

 

“ME TOO!!!,” Kitty shouted, as her Aunt picked her up and pressed her cheek against hers, the two girls making their wide eyes wider as they looked at Robb. 

 

“Do not teach my daughter that look of yours,” Robb warned, but he pointed a spatula at them because he’d already picked it up to do their bidding. 

 

“Oh please, Kitty taught _me_ that one, didn’t you my little tyrant?,” the girl who had to be Arya asked. 

 

“Yeah but Mommy taught me… she looks at Daddy like this,” Kitty said, turning to Jon to show what she meant. The result was what Jon imagined the human embodiment of the heart-eyes emoji to be and Jon felt great sympathy for Robb. He was fucked. 

 

“That’s right baby,” Ella said as she came in, stroking her daughter’s cheek and striding over to her husband and standing on tiptoes, her arms looped around his neck, “Always have, always will.”

 

“And for that, _you_ get extra pancakes,” Robb said, rubbing his nose against hers. For some reason, this was more intimate than watching them kiss and Jon had to look away. 

 

He turned as Sansa came in the room and he had to actively pick his mouth up off the floor. She was taking off her zip up and was only wearing spandex shorts and a tight tank top, her hair up in a braided ponytail. 

 

“Morning,” she said with a small smile when she saw him. 

 

The eyes of every Stark turned to him, _by the gods they are like their own little army._

 

“Hi there,” he said, and there was gravel in his throat. 

 

 

“Do you feel like pancakes?,” she asked hopefully. 

 

“Oh, erm…well I should probably go…Sam let Ghost out last night but it’s been a while…”

 

“Poor Ghosty,” Kitty said, suddenly crestfallen. But then her bright head popped up and said, “Will you and Ghost come to the game with us? NO PRISONERS!”

 

“NO PRISONERS!,” Theo, Billy, Arya and Rickon all shouted. 

 

“Oh well…,” he said looking at Sansa. He wanted to spend every minute he could with her, and this family that felt like medicine but he didn’t want to crowd her.

 

“Oh, Baby, you know, Jon might have some things he needs to do,” Ella said, taking Kitty from Arya’s arms and wiping some sleep out of the little girl’s eyes. 

 

“Yeah— yeah Kitty, I’ll have to see… but maybe you and Ghost can have a playdate sometime soon, okay?,” he asked glancing nervously at Ella. The woman was the picture of kindness, but he wasn’t sure how she’d feel about him proposing ideas to her daughter. 

 

Ella only smiled and said, “Oh wouldn’t that be so much fun? Jon and I will set up something for you two soon, okay?”

 

Kitty was tracing hearts on her mother’s cheek and nodded somberly. Jon knew that her sadness was mostly because of Ghost, but he couldn’t help that his heart swelled anyway. 

 

“I’ll walk you out,” Sansa said and after Jon had thanked Ella and Robb she grabbed her sweatshirt and walked him through the house and out to the driveway. 

 

“Sorry I was gone when you woke up!,” Sansa blurted out as soon as the door shut behind them, “I just, we go every weekend and I didn’t want to wake you up because I wasn’t sure if you _liked_ being woken up and I should have left a note but Ella convinced me that Robb would tell you, did he tell you? Anyway that sucked I’m so sorry.”

 

There were blotches on her cheeks and unshed tears in her eyes, “Hey, hey sweet girl,” he said taking her faced in his hands, “What is this about? Of course Robb told me…”

 

“You’re not mad at me?,” she asked, her blue eyes searching his. “You don’t, you don’t think I made you look foolish?”

 

“Was that your intention?,” he asked with a small smile, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Of _course_ I’m not angry with you. It’s not like you abandoned me in the woods, you just went to a class…”

 

“Oh…okay,” she said, letting out a breath, “So we’re good, then?”

 

“We’re good,” he said, kissing her lips, “So very, very good.”

 

She leaned into him, her hands clasping his wrists. Kissing her was the sweetest thing he knew and he lost himself in it. He tried to make her lose herself too, until she couldn’t remember a time when someone would be angry with her for going to the gym. But Jon couldn’t forget. No, the fear in her eyes was not something he’d ever forget.

 

***

 

“I didn’t say that!,” Robb said from the front seat. 

 

“ _He so did,_ ” Ella said, turning around and whispering to Sansa. 

 

“You are a _troublemaker_ ,” Robb growled at his wife, tickling her and eliciting her surrender. 

 

“Watch the road, Daddy!,” Kitty ordered. 

 

“Thank you, Baby,” Ella said, turning around and kissing her daughter’s little hand before looking at her husband triumphantly. 

 

“All I said was, he _seemed_ okay,” Robb said. 

 

“But careful don’t tell Jon that, we don’t want his ego to get out of control!,” Ella teased, rolling her eyes. “We _love_ him. _Love him._ ”

 

Ella had already made her feelings on the matter perfectly clear on the way to their class that morning. In fact, she’d made it perfectly clear last night after Jon had shooed her out of the kitchen so he could do the dishes, which had shamed Bran into helping as well. 

 

“I don’t love him,” Kitty said somberly. Sansa and Ella turned to look at the little girl, and Sansa could see from the way Robb’s eyes crinkled in the rearview that he was smiling. “I love him love him.”

 

“Like super duper love him with a cherry on top?,” Ella asked. 

 

“No like totally wotally with a pizza on top,” Kitty said, giggling to herself at her cleverness. 

 

“My goodness woodness!,” Sansa answered. 

 

“You are totally wotally driving me crazy,” Robb said, earning the glare of every female in the car. 

 

“I think Daddy’s jealous wealous,” Kitty said after they had been driving in silence for a few minutes. 

 

Sansa and Ella didn’t stop laughing for the rest of the drive. 

 

***

 

**_Jon: Hey sweet girl_ **

 

**_Sansa: Hi you_ **

 

**_Jon: How was the game?_ **

 

**_Sansa: Yellow cards were thrown, dribbling was nonexistent_ **

 

**_Jon: Are you heading back to Winterfell for dinner?_ **

 

**_Sansa: No actually, just leaving the grocery store. Do you find yourself free and in want of roast chicken by any chance?_ **

 

**_Jon: As cluck would have it…_ **

 

**_Sansa: Oh Jon…_ **

 

**_Jon: This is why I don’t text._ **

 

**_Sansa: Good thing you’re marginally smoother in person. Come by around 7? I’m at 10 Great Hearth Terrace, top apartment._ **

 

**_Jon: I’ll be the one with the rumbling stomach and a bottle of wine…_ **

 

**_Sansa: Oh, and Jon?_ **

 

**_Jon: Yes, sweet girl?_ **

 

**_Sansa: Can you bring Ghost?_ **

 

***

 

Jon hadn’t realised they were neighbours, but it turned out Sansa lived only a few blocks away from him. The flat she lived in was in a former mansion, and when she’d said she lived on the top floor, he didn’t realise she meant the _whole_ floor, the one that covered a city block. 

 

He had realised it was _that_ Stark family when he’d pulled into Winterfell. He’d gone to the house once before, with the orphanage. The Starks were the largest benefactors of it, and had opened up their home one summer day when Jon was thirteen. 

 

She was practically a princess, he was pretty sure she actually descended from royalty, but here she was, opening her door, dressed down in jeans and a white sweater, slippers on her feet and a spot of flour on her cheek. 

 

“Hi!,” she said, stepping forward and planting a kiss to his lips. She went to pull away but he held her waist and kissed her again. He felt her smile against him as she kissed him back. 

 

When they pulled away he stroked the bit of cheek, removing the flour and she knelt down and gave Ghosts kisses and hugs of his own, which he accepted with as much dignity as could be expected. 

 

She lead them in, leading Ghost over to a bowl she’d placed on the floor in the kitchen. 

 

“I um, hope you didn’t mind staying in tonight,” Sansa said as she mixed what looked to be salad dressing. There were so many good smells coming from the kitchen that his mouth was watering like Ghost’s. 

 

“No I - it’s perfect. And thank you for inviting Ghost. I would have left him at home for you but…I’m happy I didn’t have to,” he said. _Ygritte never let him come to her place._

 

“Don’t be silly, I’m just happy Ghost brought _you_ ,” she said winking at him. 

 

_How have I gone my whole life without being teased by you?_

 

Jon used the wine opener she’d set out to open the bottle of Arbor Gold he’d brought. He poured her a glass and brought it over to her, setting it down on the island and standing behind her, pressing a kiss to her neck. 

 

To his surprise, she went rigid. 

 

“I uh…I’m sorry…,” he said, not quite sure what he’d done wrong. 

 

“No! No I’m sorry,” she said turning and pressing her back to the island. She pulled his other hand and rested it to her side, so that he was boxing her in and she said, “It’s just…that’s what Robb always does to Ella and…”

 

“Oh for the love of the gods, I reminded you of your _brother_?,” he asked in horror. 

 

“No! Well, yes… but… I just… I’ve always been jealous of them and, I mean, not in a _I want to date my brother_ kind of way but, well you’ve seen them…,” she said, looking at him nervously with those blue eyes. 

 

He knew what she meant. Robb and Ella fit together like no couple he’d ever seen.

 

“Yeah uh… they’re kind of inspiring, huh?,” he said with a grin. 

 

“Totally inspiring, and well… you may have guessed that I haven’t always had…so much luck, there’s just been…some things… and you’re just not like any guy I’ve ever known and it kind of freaks me out okay should we eat or something?,” she said all in one breath. 

 

_Oh my sweet girl, what have they done to you?_

 

“I don’t know what happened, and I want to, whenever you want to tell me, but not before, okay? But… I am not like other guys. I know every guy says that, and I know we as a _rule_ just kind of suck but… I swear to you, Sansa. I will _never_ lie to you, and I will do everything in my power to never hurt you either,” he said, desperate for her to believe him. He’d rather pull out his beating heart than her feel a moment’s pain.

 

“I believe you,” Sansa said, and they were the three most beautiful words he’d ever heard, “That’s the crazy thing. I believe you and I know it’s only been a few days but I believe in _us_ , as far as there is an us, and I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that if I’m going to be ruined, I want it to be because of you.”

 

***

 

 _The chicken is going to burn_ , Sansa thought for a nanosecond after Jon kissed her, but then she ceased to think at all. 

 

He was kissing her like his life depended on it, like hers did, and she was kissing him back, clinging to him because he filled her veins with wildfire.

 

“The uhm, the uh—,” he said, breaking apart from her, “The uhm…”

 

“The chicken?,” Sansa asked with a grin, turning the oven on low and making direct eye contact with him as she did. _Seduction for Dummies._

 

Apparently it worked because in the next moment she was back in his arms and she was taking off his shirt because no body like his should be hidden and she was kissing his shoulders and his fingers were in her hair. 

 

They stumbled back, winding her way to her bedroom, clothes falling as they did. One of her slippers landed on the couch, she was pretty sure his pants had landed on Ghost, but they were kissing and laughing until he was sitting on her bed and suddenly there was nothing funny about the way he looked at her. 

 

He pressed a kiss to her belly button, his fingers trailing up and down her thighs. He pressed a wet kiss lower and her nipples peaked. She’d never felt someone’s mouth there and he was covering as much surface as possible, nipping her hip bones. He lifted her and twisted, so she fell on her back on the bed and he was down on his knees in a moment, pulling her towards him, pulling her legs over his shoulders. 

 

 _“_ You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Sansa Stark,” he said and then his mouth descended on her. He lapped at her like she was his favourite dessert, moaning against her and sending delicious vibrations. 

 

“ _Oh Jon….Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon…,”_ she whimpered, his name being the only word she could remember in that moment.

 

“For the love of the gods I’ll be unmanned if you say my name like that again,” he said, but he took up his ministrations anyway. She felt his finger enter her and she was bucking up against him. “Seven help me you and this cunt will be the death of me,” he says and pushes another inside, moving in and out in a purposeful rhythm. 

 

“You can’t die until you fuck me,” she says and gasps at her own audacity. 

 

“Then come, Sansa, come for me, sweet girl,” he demands and pleads, his tongue and lips a prayer against her skin. He presses against her nub, flicking his tongue against it and she is lost, suspended in air, gasping in pleasure. 

 

He kisses up her body, taking a breast in his mouth and the other in his hand but she is impatient, pulling him so that their lips can meet. He tastes like her but his hands are roaming all over her and they are fumbling back until her head is on her pillows. 

 

“Do you, do you have -“ he asks, but she is opening her legs. 

 

“I’m on the pill, please Jon, I want to feel you, all of you, please please please,”  she says, not caring that she sounds desperate, because she is. 

 

He takes a thigh in his hand, wrapping it around him and then she can feel him at her entrance. He feels big and hard and she feels dizzy but she knows she’s never wanted something more. 

 

He eases inside of her, moving slowly so she can adjust to him. When their hips meet they both let out a moan, and it is she that moves first. He thrusts into her and she can not help but look to where their bodies are joined. She spreads her legs wider, wrapping the other leg around him, her fingers in his black curls. 

 

He holds himself above her, looking in her eyes. He brushes her cheek gently with her thumb and no one else, none of the others had ever touched her so softly, none of them had ever made her feel so desired. 

 

“Jon,” she whispered.

 

He started to thrust into her again, picking up his pace, pressing kisses into her neck, “I’m here, I’m here sweet girl.”

 

She wraps her arms around him, until she is holding on for dear life, until they are joined in every way they can be, until there is nothing but him, and his soft lips, and strong arms. He looks at her like she is his only reality, and she comes alive for him as though he’s the only truth she’s ever known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to up the rating because, well....
> 
> Let me know what you think! xo


	5. Chapter 5

“So I just figured if you _didn’t_ have plans, maybe you could come to dinner at Robb and Ella’s tomorrow night? We’ll all be at the game beforehand, which you’re more than welcome to come to but…,” she trailed off, seeing that Ella was calling her. “Hey Jon, can I put you on hold, it’s Ella I just want to make sure the plan hasn’t changed?”

 

“Of course sweet girl, tell her I say hi,” Jon said and she smiled, picking up Ella’s call.

 

“Helloo lover - Jon says-“

 

“Kitty is gone! Oh Sansa I she…I put her down for a nap and just hopped in the shower and I just went to check on her and she’s gone and Robb’s cell went straight to voicemail and she’s so little and I heard it’s supposed to snow and…,” she broke off with a wail, “My baby’s out there and I can’t find her anywhere.”

 

Sansa’s heart had stopped the moment Ella started speaking. She loved that little girl more than her own life and the thought of her on her own filled her with fear she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Her best friend sounded out of her mind in agony, so Sansa tried to curb her worry and think pragmatically, as Ella had for her so many times before.

 

“She’s going to be okay, Ella, I _promise._ The house is huge, for all we know she is just in a closet somewhere, okay? I’m leaving work now, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. I’ll dial Robb on my way. Take another sweep through the house - check the garage, Rickon was pretending to teach her to drive last weekend. _She’s going to be fine, I swear it by the old gods and the new_ ,” Sansa vowed. She’d already risen from her desk and run out of her office, only just remembering to grab her jacket. 

 

“Ohkay,” Ella breathed out, and Sansa could picture her nodding. A plan always helped Ella, “Ohkay I’ll see you soon.”

 

Sansa clicked off and hopped in her car, only then realising she still had Jon on hold. 

 

“Jon - I - I have to go, Kitty is missing and Ella is freaking out. I’m on my way over there but I have to call Robb,” Sansa said, pulling out of the parking lot on two wheels. 

 

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes, Sansa, _she is going to be fine_ ,” he said, but she heard anguish in his voice.

 

She wasn’t even going to ask. His job was too important, he was always so busy during the day. She felt tears coming to her eyes.

 

“She’s so little Jon…,” she said fighting back a sob. It wouldn’t do to show up with red eyes, Ella needed her to be strong. _I’ve always wanted to repay you, but not like this. Never like this._

 

“I know, sweet girl, I know… but within an hour she will be found and will be teasing us all for making a fuss, okay? _Nothing is happening to that little girl_ ,” he said and Sansa nodded, though he couldn’t see her. She could imagine it now, Kitty wrapped up in a blanket on Ella’s lap, doing impersonations of all of their worried faces. 

 

“Okay…okay I’ll see you soon,” she said and clicked off. “Call Robb,” she told her phone. After one ring it went to voicemail. That was odd, he rarely turned it off. She tried his office line.

 

“Robb Stark’s line this is Evelyn speaking,” Robb’s assistant answered. 

 

“Eve it’s Sansa, is he there? Whatever he’s doing, interrupt him,” Sansa said. She’d reached the city line and was surrounded by forest. 

 

“I’m sorry, Sansa, is everything alright?? He’s in a closed door meeting, I don’t have access to the floor and he’d have to have turned his phone off,” Evelyn explained. _Fucking Varys_ , Sansa thought. Ever since the spymaster of Westoros had shown them all how vulnerable cell phones were there had been more and more restrictions. 

 

“He needs to call me or Ella AS SOON as he returns,” Sansa said, “Everything is probably fine, but Kitty has wandered off and we really need to reach him as soon as possible.”

 

“Oh dear, I’ll see if I can’t get a message into him, he’ll be out of his mind,” Eve said, “Give Ella a hug for me when you see her. Kitty’ll turn up I know it.”

 

“Thanks Eve,” Sansa said and hung up. 

 

She was speeding and she half wanted to get pulled over so they could get the entire Wintertown police force looking for her niece, and in truth, one call from her and they would be, but she forced herself to calm down. She turned in the driveway and was surprised to see Jon’s car pulling in after her. 

 

_He must have ran every red light._

 

She hopped out of the car and Ella came out into the drive. Her cheeks were blotchy and her hair was wet and she wore only a thin t shirt despite the deepening cold. 

 

“I can’t find her, I’ve checked every closet, every room, the cupboards in the kitchen, the garage, the pool. I think she’s gone off to the woods,” Ella said and just like that she started sobbing. 

 

Sansa moved to grab her but Jon was there in two strides, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around Ella’s shoulders. 

 

“Ella, she’s going to be fine, I promise. But right now you need to get inside and get warm. Sansa and I are going to take a lap around the house, okay? Where’s Grey Wind?,” Jon said and he gestured Sansa forward as he went to his car. 

 

Sansa wrapped her friend in her arms and felt the dead weight of her. She saw Jon open his backdoor and Ghost hopped out. _Of course,_ Sansa thought. 

 

“Come on sweetling, we’re going to get the dogs okay? I need you to get us something of Kitty’s,” Sansa said. 

 

She watched the wheels turn in Ella’s eyes and then her friend sprinted in the house, she and Jon right behind. Ghost following along. The other dogs were already amassed downstairs, whimpering. 

 

Ella grabbed Kitty’s puffy pink jacket and held it at nose level for all the dogs. 

 

She looked in Grey Wind’s eyes the way she had looked at Robb on an awful night long ago, the kind of look that made you be better out of sheer necessity, like she was putting all of her hopes on you. Neither dog nor master would ever let her down. 

 

Ghost stepped forward and gingerly sniffed the coat and Jon opened the back door. The dogs took off in all directions and Jon took off after them, taking the coat from Ella’s hands. _She’ll need it,_ Sansa thought gravely. With a kiss to her sister’s cheek she followed him. 

 

***

 

 _By the gods if that wasn’t a waste of time. We knew who the ringleader in Essos was, we’ve always known_ , Robb thought as he crossed the clearance line where he could turn on his cell. 

 

He was surprised to see three missed calls from Ella, two from Sansa, one from Jon and four voicemails. Fear struck him immediately as he pressed play on the first voicemail. 

 

“Robb, you need to call your wife imme-,” his assistant Eve said just as the first voicemail started to play. 

 

“ _Robb- Oh Robb Kitty wandered off when I put her down for a nap - I can’t find her anywhere, I…I’m so sorry I…need you, call me_.”

 

He pressed play on the second as he ran out the door, hoping that it was Ella calling again to say everything was fine, that his baby had just been being naughty but she was safe and sound. He knew it wouldn’t be. 

 

The second call from Ella was more or less the same. There was one from Sansa telling him she and Jon were on their way and to call her as soon as he could. Then one from Jon. 

 

“I’m on my way there, I _promise_ you I will find her. She’s going to be _fine_ Robb. Nothing will happen to her. It can’t, okay? So it won’t,” Jon had said. 

 

It surprised him that he felt better knowing Jon was going there. He’d only known him for a few weeks, but there was a steadiness and determination that reminded Robb of his father. Of course, that steadiness had left him when his own baby girl was missing. 

 

*

_TEN YEARS AGO_

 

_“I just think you would do better to defer and take it next semester with Professor Selmy, Bolton is a hack,” his father said as they sipped whiskey in his study._

 

_“I know but it’s a prereq for Ethics of Business, which I need to take next semester in order to qualify for the summer internship,” Robb reasoned. He was only nineteen, but he knew his parents expected him to have an internship that summer. His carefree days by the lake with Theon would be relegated to weekends from now on._

 

_“Mr. Stark?,” a panicked voice said from the hall. He’d recognise that voice anywhere, even though he’d never heard it sound like that._

 

_“Ella!?,” he asked, up in a moment. There was only one thing that could cause fear like that. His father knew it too and was up in a moment, “Where’s Sansa!?!”_

 

_He’d never seen her beautiful face look so guilty, but she never cowered away from the truth._

 

_“She’s with Joffrey… I told her not to go with him but I just went to the bathroom and when I got back she was gone… I…,” she started but stopped looking at his father._

 

_“Tell us, child,” his father said quietly._

 

_“There were some boys laughing when I was asking people where Sansa had gone. Joffrey made a bet with them, that he could sleep with her…and I’m afraid that…he won’t be willing to lose,” she said and a tear escaped her eye._

 

_Robb doubled over, nearly vomiting._

 

_“Is there anywhere you can think they would have gone?,” his father is asking, grabbing his keys. I’ve never seen you afraid, Robb thought absently. “Anywhere at all?”_

 

_“The um, the quarry…maybe, or…my uncle Jaime is away this weekend, we have a key to his house…,” Ella said._

 

_“I’ll go to the quarry, Robb you go to Jaime’s,” his father said and they brushed by Ella, though his father planted a kiss to her head on his way before he raced out into the night._

 

_Robb was grabbing his keys off the counter when Ella appeared at his side._

 

_“I’m coming with you,” she said._

 

_“Ella, no,” he said. I can’t protect you both and kill your brother at the same time, he thought._

 

_“I know the way better than you,” she said pragmatically. But another tear slipped from her eye. “And she is more sister to me than he is my brother. Please Robb, I need to find her. If he has hurt her I will kill him_ **_myself._ ** _”_

 

_There wasn’t a part of him that didn’t believe her. It would be he that held her back and not the other way around and he knew it._

 

_He grabbed her hand and told himself that the spark he felt was just adrenaline, just fear, but he knew it wasn’t true. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was finding the girl they both called sister, and praying she was alright._

 

_He grabbed Ella’s hand again as he drove, and she squeezed it back._

 

_“She’ll be okay, Robb, I promise. I will not let you lose her.”_

 

_*_

 

“Robb?,” Ella picked up on the first ring and his heart tore and two from the wail she let out, “I’m _so_ sorry. Sansa and Jon are here but we can’t find her anywhere.”

 

“I’m on my way, Doe. I am coming for you, I will be there soon, we will all be together again soon, I promise,” he vowed to the woman he loved more than his own life, the only woman he’d ever loved. 

 

“I can’t, Robb…I can’t…,” Ella was saying and it was then that Robb noticed snow had started to fall. He pressed on the gas, knowing he’d get there in half the usual time. _My little girl is out there in this,_ he thought and he felt even sicker than he had ten years ago, a feat he previously would have thought impossible. 

 

“She’ll be okay, Ella, I promise. I will not let you lose her.”

 

***

 

Jon had seen his life flash before his eyes when Sansa had come back on the call. He’d been on his way home to let Ghost out, knowing he’d have to go back to work most likely through the night and he hadn’t even thought, he’d just grabbed Ghost and gotten there as quickly as he could. 

 

It had been a cold day, but it was starting to snow now and it was getting darker. Soon they’d need to return to the house for flashlights but he knew they were also nearing needing to call the police. Ella had gone to the outbuildings, Sansa to the tennis courts, while he had taken the woods. 

 

His phone rang, he prayed it was one of the girls telling him they’d found her, but it was Robb. 

 

“Robb-,” he picked up.

 

“I just got here, where should I start?,” Robb said and he could hear the similarities in their tones. Robb was out of his mind with worry but he would only be thinking about one thing, _find her_ , anything else in this moment was useless. 

 

“Maybe the stab-,” Jon started but then he heard a single howl. It was followed by three more. 

 

“Is that?-“ Robb started, but Jon was already taking off in the direction of the noise. 

 

“Follow it Robb, they’ve got her. I _know_ it,” Jon said. He hung up and took off into a sprint. 

 

The howling was getting louder and he was running so quickly through the trees that there were tears in his eyes. 

 

“KITTY!!? KITTY SWEETHEART WHERE ARE YOU?!,” he was calling.

 

“J-J-on?,” a terrified little voice called and if it were possible to take flight he would have. 

 

He nearly ran into them, they’d all found her. Ghost and Grey Wind had wrapped themselves around her, keeping her warm, and Shaggydog and Summer had crowded in. 

 

“Jon,” she cried and started crying so hard she was hiccuping. He wrenched her up, not bothering to put her jacket around her but wrapping her in his own. 

 

“Oh Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, I’ve got you my beauty,” he said, holding her so tightly he was afraid he’d crush the life out of her but she was shaking and holding on to him just as tightly. 

 

“I couldn’t find my way back…I … woke up in the woods and I…I couldn’t…,” she said, clinging to him as she sobbed into his neck.

 

“Okay, my brave girl, you’re going to be alright,” he said, but he started walking purposefully back, not wanting to scare her by breaking into a sprint. 

 

“It was G-Ghost…,” she said quietly, “Ghost found me.”

 

“He never would have stopped until he did, beauty, and neither would I, now I need you to brave and hold on tight okay. I want to get you home as quick as I can to your Mommy and Daddy, okay, but I’m going to keep you safe,” he said. 

 

“I know,” she said, and he broke into a run. 

 

***

 

She wasn’t sure she’d ever let her daughter out of her arms again. Once they’d gleaned she hadn’t been injured, she and Robb had bathed her. She was terrified and freezing but safe and unharmed. They hadn’t asked what had happened but Ella knew, _sleepwalking_. Her Kitty was a free spirit but she knew better than to wander.

 

Rickon and Bran had picked the boys up from school, Arya had been called over, and they’d all crowded around, none of them wanting to let her out of their sight. 

 

Theo was curled up on the loveseat with Sansa and Robb. Jon on the floor, Arya curled into his side. Rickon and Bran were laying on the dogs, the heroes who had protected her baby.

 

Ella sat on the couch with Kitty nestled in her lap and Billy tucked against her side. He’d wrapped his arms around his little sister, just like Robb had all those years ago. 

 

*

 

_TEN YEARS AGO_

 

_There were lights on in her Uncle Jaime’s house and Robb sped in the drive. She’d hardly let him park before she was hopping out, him shouting after her._

 

_She opened the door and Robb rushed past her._

 

_“Sansa?! Sansa where are you!?,” she shouted as she went through the kitchen up the back stairs._

 

_“El—“ she heard her whimper._

 

_“I’M HERE DOVE, I’M HERE,” Ella said, taking the stairs two at a time, “ROBB SHE’S HERE!”_

 

_The sight that met her had her doubled over, just as Robb had been moments ago._

 

 _Sansa was crouched on the ground, her blouse torn, her lip bloody and her eye swollen_. 

 

_He will die for this, Ella thought._

 

_“Oh sweetling, I’m here, I’m here,” she said, kneeling down and taking her friend’s hand in hers, afraid to move her without knowing what had happened. “Are you - can you move? Can you sit up?”_

 

_“It— Ella it hurts, it hurts,” Sansa said and broke down crying, clutching her side._

 

_“Okay, Dove, okay, Robb’s here, I’m here, you’re going to be alright, I promise, I promise,” she said._

 

_“Sansa!” Robb cried as he fell to his knees beside her, pulling off his sweater and draping it over her gently. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. Can I… can I move you?”_

 

_“Robbie?,” she whimpered hopefully._

 

_“I’m here, I’m here,” he said, smoothing her hair. “I need to get you out of here, should I call an ambulance or can I carry you?”_

 

_“No ambulance,” Sansa said as she started to cry again._

 

_Robb handed Ella the keys and he got on his feet, crouching down so he could lift her. Sansa was slender but tall, and she saw Robb struggling for balance. Ella righted them, moving Sansa as little as possible as her friend let out a guttural moan._

 

_Robb’s eyes met hers in fear and Ella couldn’t think straight. Focus, one step at a time. Be strong for them._

 

_Ella lead them through the house, closing the door behind them and opening the back door so Robb could get in, his little sister wrapped in his arms._

 

_Ella shut the door and got in the driver’s seat. Her eyes met Robb’s in the rearview. He was whispering words of apologies and hope to his little sister but his eyes were on her._

 

_She pulled out of the driveway, taking care not to take corners too quickly for fear of causing further damage._

 

_She dropped them at the hospital entrance, Robb running into the ER and she pulled away as nurses came to help. Once she parked she ran in and was surprised to find Robb there._

 

_“They took her away,” he said, his jaw tight, “Possible internal bleeding, they’ll find me when they know more,” he said, repeating the words as if on autopilot._

 

_“She’s going to be fi-,” she said but stopped when he punched the wall. She didn’t think, she just went forward and hugged him._

 

_He gripped her back harshly as he let out a wail._

 

_“I’m supposed to protect her,” he said, “I…”_

 

_“There was no way to know,” she reasoned, her fingers stroking his hair, “We’re going to spend the rest of our lives making this up to her. We are going to put her back, piece by piece, you and me. And Joffrey is going to pay for this. These debts will be paid, I swear it by the old gods and the new.”_

 

_“I love you,” he said, as though he hadn’t meant to._

 

_“Took you long enough,” she said, and she felt him smile against her as he held her tighter._

 

_***_

 

She stroked Billy’s hair, like she had Robb’s that night and met her husband’s eye.

 

“ _I love you_ ,” she mouthed. 

 

“ _Took you long enough,”_ he mouthed back, pulling his son and sister closer, no doubt thinking of the same night. 

 

The debt had never been paid, never could be, but there had never been a more devoted brother than Robb, and she knew he looked at their sons and the way they loved their little sister and prayed they would never know what it was like to experience fear such as that. 

 

“I think it’s bedtime, my love,” she said to Kitty. 

 

“Can I sleep with you and Daddy?,” her daughter asked. 

 

“Of course you can, I’ll come with you now and Daddy will join us after Theo and Billy go to sleep, okay?,” she asked. Her daughter nodded and burrowed into her. 

 

There was a chorus of goodnights as Ella raised off the couch, all of her siblings looking at them like they didn’t want them to go. 

 

“Jon…would you mind coming with me for a moment?,” she asked. Jon looked surprised but nodded, getting off the floor. Grey Wind and Ghost rose too, and followed them out. 

 

Jon waited patiently while Ella helped Kitty brush her teeth and tucked her in.  Grey Wind climbed up with her, covering her stomach with his head, and Ghost curled up on the floor beside her. 

 

“I’ll be right back, baby,” she said, kissing her daughter’s forehead, “I just want to speak with Jon for a minute.”

 

“Wait,” Kitty said and they both turned to her, she beckoned Jon forward. 

 

Ella watched as he sat down next to her, brushing a bit of hair out of her face.

 

“What is it, Beauty?,” he asked. 

 

She tugged his sleeve down and placed her little hands on his shoulders and to Ella’s delight, planted a kiss on his nose,“I love you.”

 

He took her little head in his hands and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I love you too, more than you know. Get some rest, okay, little one? Ghost will stay with you tonight if you want.”

 

“I want,” she said and he stroked her cheek and stood up. 

 

She ushered Jon out of the room, turning out the light and closing the door. 

 

He shifted nervously in front of her, clearly unused to the adoring looks both mother and daughter had been giving him all afternoon. 

 

“You… you may not know this about me, but my mother is a Lannister,” she said and saw recognition in his eyes, “There’s a stupid saying, a Lannister always pays their debts, but it’s true. You saved my life today, Jon, there’s no way around it, you returned my heart to me. And… I will never stop paying you back, never.”

 

“There’s nothing to pay back Ella, you already saved mine. You saved _her._ She hasn’t told me everything, hell she hasn’t told me most things I’ll bet, but what she has terrified me. But she’s survived, she’s stronger than ever and at the heart of it all was you. Before I met Sansa I was…anyway, I wasn’t living. I am now and it’s because of you, because you put her back together. You owe me nothing, and besides, I love that little girl in there more than I knew I was capable of,” he said gruffly. 

 

_And her aunt too, I’d wager._

 

“So here we are, two people indebted to one another for eternity,” she said with a small smile, “Let’s just always be worthy of them, and we’ll call it even?”

 

“Deal,” he said with a grin. 

 

She kissed his cheek, and with one more squeeze to his hand she slipped into her bedroom, stopping only to hug Ghost and promise him her unwavering devotion as well, before she climbed in bed, and thanked the gods that everyone she loved was safe and spoiled rotten with love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this got heavier, but I know people were curious about a bit of Sansa, Ella and Robb's backstory and I thought this fit with the way the story has been building.


	6. Chapter 6

Jon walked into Wythe’s Holdfast, his favourite pub, on Thursday evening. He’d just been released from work, though it was 9 o’clock, and he’d been really looking forward to heading home. However, as he’d left he’d received a text from Robb asking to meet. 

 

“Hey man,” Jon said, shaking Robb’s hand, who had stood up when he came in. 

 

“Thanks for meeting me,” Robb said, signalling to the bartender who immediately started pouring a whiskey when he saw Jon. 

 

“No problem, how’s Ella doing?,” Jon asked in concern. 

 

Kitty had been quick to recover, but Sansa had told him on their date last night that she was worried about Ella, who had taken to checking on her daughter multiple times a night, so worried that the incident would be repeated. 

 

Robb’s wary expression softens at the mention of his wife, but he rubs his forehead and shakes his head. 

 

“She’s been better since we installed all the locks you suggested, I think she got about four hours of sleep last night,” he said with a sad smile. His eyes were red, making Jon think he probably hadn’t gotten much sleep either, with worrying about mother and daughter alike. “She just…I _know_ she feels responsible. She keeps saying ‘ _This never would have happened to you_ ,” thinking that means it’s _her_ fault…she doesn’t realise that all that says to me is that I’m not around enough. Not that she’d - Gods, that’s…she never guilts me about the long hours or the work trips or any of it…I just hate that it’s all on her. So she sees this one thing and….”

 

“She doesn’t consider the fact that those children are the luckiest kids in the world to have her?,” Jon supplies, to put the poor man out of his misery. 

 

He wasn’t just saying it to ingratiate himself. The thought didn’t even occur to him. Ella was…the momiest mom of all time. Sweet, and fun and capable. Her children swirled around her like ducklings, always confident that _she_ would have the answer, the next _great_ idea. And she treated them like every thought they had might be the next _thing_ , like they weren’t just kids, but great big explorers. It made him almost envious of the children, all the while marvelling at her. 

 

Robb sighs and nods, “Yeah. She doesn’t see all the good she’s doing for them. Her mom isn’t- You know what…no. Sorry, this isn’t even why I asked you to meet me. _Gods_ does my sister open up to you like this?”

 

It was Jon’s turn to sigh, “Unfortunately no.”

 

He knew a bit of what had transpired in her past, but only so far as he’d seen a scar on her stomach that looked like it had been intentional and once, when she woke up holding Ghost, she had cried into his fur _“I’m so sorry Lady,_ ” though Jon wasn’t sure she was fully awake for that.

 

Robb looked at him and took a sip of his whiskey. 

 

“That’s…that’s just Sansa. Well that’s Sansa _now_ anyway. She’ll tell you when she’s ready… I wish you’d known her when she was a little girl…,” Robb says and Jon sees the same thing in his eyes as when he was talking about Ella and the kids. _Such broad shoulders_. 

 

“So do I,” Jon said, imagining a little girl as beautiful as Kitty, though a good deal more reserved, ordering Robb about sweetly the way he’d seen Kitty make Theo and Billy have tea parties with her. “But uh… this isn’t why you texted either, I imagine?”

 

Robb downed the last of his whiskey. 

 

“No… no it’s not. I know you’re working on Qhorin’s new team. No - don’t deny it. It’s my _job_ to know, I’m on the Senate Intel Committee… and, well Qhorin’s a legend. He’s the best in the field, maybe even better than your mentor Mormont. But… there’s a,” Robb stopped talking as a sorority girl leaned in between them to order a shot, turning towards Robb as she waited. 

 

“ _Looks like you need another_ ,” the girl said, leaning into him. 

 

“I’m actually alright, but thank you,” Robb said politely.

 

“Oh come _on,_ do a shot with me,” the girl purred and Jon looked on curiously. 

 

Robb was head over heels for Ella, that was obvious, and it was clear as day that this girl had nothing on her. But even still, she was so _obviously_ hitting on him that he wondered if he could be tempted. Jon surveyed her critically, but found that he couldn’t stop comparing her to Ella. The girl was voluptuous, with brown shiny hair and a painted on dress. Jon thought back to last Saturday when Ella had come down the stairs in flannel pajama pants and a sweatshirt of Robb’s, Kitty balanced on her hip. Robb had nearly _swooned_ at the sight of her, but now, in the face of a 22 year old goddess, he looked…slightly annoyed.

 

“No thank you,” Robb said, “My wife and I made a rule not to do shots anymore,” he said with a humble, _aw-shucks-the-stories-I-could-tell you_ smile. 

 

“Awww,” the girl said, threading his tie through her hands, “You don’t want a girl like that…with all those rules, I wouldn’t give you _any_. You could do whatever you wanted…”

 

_Gods be good…_

 

Robb grabbed her wrist gently, removing her hand from his tie and said coldly but firmly, “She’s the only thing I’ll ever want, and I sincerely hope you find someone who says the same about you. Have a good night.”

 

_So I guess class is a familial trait._

 

The girl walks away, a bit dejected and a bit wobbly, but Robb just sighs. 

 

“Impressive,” Jon says, taking a sip of whiskey.

 

“I’ve got the girl of my dreams,” Robb said, like a man spoiled with riches, which he was in every way a man could be, “There’s no decision to be made.”

 

Jon thought of Sansa. Of the way her body felt when she fell asleep on top of him as they watched tv, or the way Ghost always made sure to walk on the side of her that he wasn’t, flanking her as though she was his sacred treasure, or the way it felt when she looked at him with those blue eyes of hers. All he did was nod, because Jon knew, had it been him the girl was after, the response would have been the same. Well maybe a _bit_ less polite, but he was working on it. 

 

“You were saying…,” Jon urges. 

 

Robb sighs, “A mole, Jon. You guy’sve got a mole.”

 

***

 

“It’s just a mole,” Sansa said, wrapping the towel around her quickly. 

 

“Did you ask your doctor last time you were in? I’ve known you forever, I think it’s _changed_ ,” Ella said as she thanked their masseuses and stepped into the spa-provided slippers they both had been given earlier that day. 

 

“You mean like, it always used to buy me flowers and now it ignores my texts?,” Sansa teased her. 

 

Ella was such a _mom_ sometimes. Though that wasn’t really her fault. Not only did she have her three kids, but she’d helped raise Rickon and Bran, even Arya after their parents died and it had just been Sansa and Robb to look after them. She was the only one who could make Arya laugh herself out of anger, the one Rickon had gone to when he’d had his first crush, the one who proofread Bran’s papers. And in truth, she’d helped raise Sansa too. They’d been friends since sharing a crib as babies, and Ella had done as much to shape who she was as anyone. 

 

“You know I don’t find your health funny, Dove,” Ella chided, and tears unwillingly formed in Sansa’s eyes, missing her own mother. 

 

In truth, she liked the way Ella fussed over her, and she had been just as protective when she feared for her. There had been one occasion with an obstetric nurse that had Sansa nearly banned from Winterfell Hospital, even though her grandfather had built it. 

 

“I know, I know, I have a check-up next month, I’ll ask about it then, alright?,” Sansa asked as they settled into their pedicure chairs. 

 

It was their monthly spa day and they’d been in the very serious business of pampering for a few hours. Ella had fought coming this month, she was still hovering over Kitty, but Robb had made Sansa promise not to take no for an answer. 

 

“Yes, thank you,” Ella said and checked her phone for the thousandth time. 

 

“They are all fine,” Sansa said, smiling at her normal pedicurist Ros and enjoying the feel of the warm water on her legs. 

 

“I know,” Ella said, though it sounded like she didn’t. 

 

“I hope you aren’t going to be like this on your date tonight, or Robb is in for a _very_ lonely evening,” Sansa teased. 

 

Ella blushed, “He has no cause for complaint and he _knows_ it,” she said wickedly though. 

 

Sansa repressed the _gross_ factor of her best friend referring to her brother’s sex life, just happy that Ella was joking again. 

 

“Is…is Jon going to be over as well?,” Ella asked shyly. 

 

“What, am I not enough anymore?,” Sansa asked, trying not to be offended. She’d always been the first call Robb and Ella made when they wanted a date night. Her nieces and nephews would all insist on having a _slumber party_ in her bed and she’d organise sundae creating contests. She was the Mary Freaking Poppins of the North. 

 

“No, no of course you are,” Ella said quickly, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I’ve been such a freak ever since it all happened. Of _course_ you are enough. You, other than Robb, are the person I trust most with our children and nothing will ever change that…I just…”

 

“What?,” Sansa asked curiously.

 

“Well…don’t you just feel _safer_ around Jon?,” Ella asked her. “I just…I feel like I can trust him with all of my treasure,” she says and blushes. “And that includes you, you know.”

 

The friendship that had developed between Ella and Jon had been rapid and mutual, each of them speaking of the other with the devotion she knew she had when she spoke of Robb. They just _got_ each other, and Sansa knew Ella was right. She and the kids were all better off with him. Plus, she wanted him there. She smiled thinking of Kitty spraying whipped cream in his face. 

 

“Yeah, El…I do know. I really do. He’ll be there, and…so will Ghost.”

 

She heard her best friend sigh in contentment and Sansa laid back to do the same. 

 

They’d come along way, the two of them. From whispered secrets under the covers to first crushes, to so much pain. They had stood by each other through all of that. 

 

Ella had always been her rock and her light, with her deep steadiness and goodness. It was nice, for Sansa, to finally have something she could give back. 

 

_Oh Jon, be careful, soon none of us will know how to live without you at all._

 

_***_

 

“Yes,” Jon said for the fiftieth time since walking in the door. 

 

“And then play spaceship?,” Theo asked excitedly, tangling himself up in his father who sat in begrudging ecstasy as his son made a mess of his suit. 

 

“Mmhm, are you going to be the captain or the _alien_ ,” Sansa asked from Jon’s side, egging her nephew on. 

 

“ALIEEEEENNNNN,” Kitty cried, surprising no one. The girl was _obviously_ extraterrestrial. 

 

“Is that _so,_ ” Jon said anyway, picking her up over his head and holding her upside down. She pushed his cheeks between her little palms and nodded. 

 

“Mmmhm..you can be an alien too. Auntie Sansa’s the _space captain_ ,” Kitty explained. 

 

“Thank you, Kitty,” Sansa says, then turns to Jon solemnly and says, “It takes a _lot_ of training.”

 

“Auntie Sansa I’m your first mate,” Billy said, crawling into her lap. The little boy was absolutely devoted to his aunt, following her around and always offering to be her special helper. 

 

“Of course you are, sweetling,” Sansa said, hugging him to her. 

 

It really wasn’t fair on a guy to see Sansa with her niece and nephews. They absolutely worshipped her and she was so _sweet_ and _free_ with them, that it made Jon think he was seeing who she might have been before her parents died, and before the nameless horrors that had befallen her. The horrors he still didn’t know. 

 

 _She’d be such a wonderful mother_ , he thought, and then cursed himself. They’d only been dating for a couple months. It was a crazy thought to be having. And yet, looking at Sansa holding Billy, the curly brunette of the two boys, made him wonder what she’d look like holding their own son. And him, holding a little girl with russet curls, made him yearn for a daughter to spoil in a way he didn’t know he was capable of. 

 

“Where’s Mommy?,” Theo asked Robb curiously. 

 

“Coming, baby,” Jon heard Ella say. 

 

Ella entered wearing a light blue dress, with long sleeves and a full skirt, her hair pulled off of her face but down. 

 

“Mommy’s a princess,” Kitty whispered in his ear. 

 

He looked over at Robb, _the poor bastard_ , who extricated himself from his son and stood up to kiss his wife’s cheek. They shared some words that Jon didn’t hear but had him reaching for Sansa’s hand. She clenched his in return and he turned to look at her. She was dressed down in black jeans and a sweater, but his breath had caught in the same way seeing her only an hour ago. 

 

“So Kitty, Auntie Sansa needs to be in bed by 8 o’clock _at the latest_ ,” Robb said, bringing a grin to Jon’s face as he looked at his four year old daughter like she had a sacred task before her. 

 

Jon was relishing the safety of Robb’s home, after the bomb he’d dropped earlier that week. He’d been trying to figure out exactly how to broach the topic with Qhorin, and a night in with Sansa, the little ones, and the dogs was exactly what he needed. 

 

“And only one bedtime story,” Kitty said back, like she knew the drill. 

 

“That’s right, darling,” Ella said with a smile. She went around kissing all of her children, Kitty last. 

 

She thanked him and Sansa and as Robb said his goodnight’s, Jon’s gaze followed Ella who had knelt down to Ghost. 

 

“Watch over her, my handsome puppy-wuppy,” Ella half pleaded, half cooed. Ghost’s tail thwacked the same as it had the first time he’d met her daughter, the same little girl Ella requested he protect. 

 

 _Don’t worry, we’ve got them_ , Jon wanted to say. 

 

But then Ella looked over at him and nodded. It could have been nothing, or rather an acknowledgment that she’d seen him, but Jon just got her, so he knew what she was saying. _I know you do._

 

***

 

“Oh…oh my god,” Jon said, collapsing on the couch. 

 

Sansa couldn’t help but giggle, sitting next to him. 

 

“There was just…so much…,” Jon started, but trailed off in exhaustion.

 

“Glitter? Energy? Sugar?,” Sansa supplied, curling into him and relishing in the way Jon immediately enveloped her, all but pulling her into his lap. 

 

She’d never felt physical comfort like this, not with anyone she’d ever dated. When Jon held her, it was the way she felt when she entered the walls of Winterfell. Not just that she was safe, but that she was stronger too. 

 

“Mmmhm,” Jon said into her hair. 

 

“They _lo-o-ove_ you,” Sansa said, thinking of the way Billy and Theo had insisted they have a special ‘boys night’ part of the evening. 

 

While they’d gone off for an epic wrestling match against Jon and Ghost, Kitty had insisted on brushing her hair. The little girl was in love with her and Ella’s hair, and Sansa knew Ella would sometimes let her stay up late to watch a tv show if she brushed it for her. 

 

_“But did you?,” Kitty asked her as she pulled the brush through gently._

 

_“Did I what, little one?,” Sansa asked._

 

_“Did you see the way daddy looked at mommy?,” Kitty asked, as though it was strange not everyone in the world was thinking about it._

 

_Sansa had grown up with the way Robb looked at Ella, but she loved that their children knew real love, not just that they were loved, but that their parents were as well._

 

_“I did, he always looks at her that way,” Sansa said, “That’s the way you look at someone when you’re in love.”_

 

_“Like how Jon looks at you?,” Kitty asked._

 

_Sansa felt her cheeks turn beet red. Damn her overly astute niece for putting such ideas into her head!_

 

_She started to answer but Kitty had already moved on. As though Jon loving her was just as obvious as Robb loving Ella._

 

_“Someday, a boy is going to look at me that way. But only when I’m wayyy older. Like thirteen or fourteen,” Kitty said sagely._

 

_Sansa turned around and pulled her niece into her arms, stroking her hair and looking into Ella’s eyes that rested in her little face. She thought of a conversation she’d had with her father many years ago._

 

_“Oh I have no doubts, my love,” she said, “You have your father’s strong heart and your mother’s kindness, and you have her eyes, these green little droplets of jade… when you’re older, there will be boys who would kill just for the chance to look in those eyes.”_

 

_“But…only good boys,” Kitty surmised. “Like Theo and Billy, and Daddy, and Rickon and Bran or Jon.”_

 

_Oh how lucky you are, my love, Sansa thought, you have so many men who will kill for you, who will die for you, but most importantly, who will spend every day showing you what you deserve._

 

“I love them,” Jon said against her, and she turned to him. Something in his voice demanded she look him in the eyes. “And their beautiful aunt.”

 

“Jon…,” Sansa said hesitantly. 

 

“I know, Sansa,” he said, “I know it’s too soon, that we, I know that there is so much I don’t know. But I love you, sweet girl. You don’t have to love me yet, but I am going to spend as much time as you’ll give me _making you_.”

 

Every part of her believed him. She, the girl who had learned long ago that all the songs were lies, that all boys said the things you wanted to hear until you gave them what they wanted, she believed him. 

 

“I’m going to let you,” she said, falling into his lap, “But know this, Jon Snow. I’ve been falling in love with you every minute since we first met.”

 

She leaned in and kissed him and he returned it fervently. 

 

“ _And I don’t ever want to stop_ ,” she whispered in his ear as they parted. 

 

He carried her to her room, and she fell in love with him a little more many times that evening, and they woke the next morning, tangled in each others arms, safe in the walls of Winterfell. 

 


	7. Chapter 7

_She wandered through the large empty house. It felt familiar though she couldn’t quite place it, and she noticed that there were no picture frames. Not like Winterfell, her home that was covered in pictures of generations of Starks, all happy and whole and home._

 

_It was stuffy inside and she went to open a window, but found she could not. She went to open another, but it too was stuck._

 

_She looked around for a way out, but found no doors._

 

_How did I get here?, she wondered._

 

_She tried the window again, stubbornly. She hit it with her elbow and was surprised to find that it didn’t hurt. Her limbs felt like molasses, slow and useless._

 

_“What, leaving so soon?,” a cold voice asked from behind her._

 

_No no no no no no, she thought as she desperately looked for a way out and finding none._

 

_“Don’t you know by now?,” the voice said, up against her ear now. “You’ll never be rid of me.”_

 

_His hand closed around her throat and that is when she started to scream…_

 

***

 

“Sansa! Sansa? Wake up sweet girl, wake up my love you’re just dreaming! Sansa -,” Jon was pleading.

 

Ghost had woken him a moment before the screaming started but nothing could have prepared him for the blood-curdling fear he heard in her desperate voice.

 

She fought him and he let go, not wanting her to hurt herself as she dragged herself out of whatever hell she was being held in.

 

She finally woke in a sweat, breathing as rapidly as though she’d just run a marathon, tears falling from her eyes even before she opened them.

 

It was Ghost who approached her first, curling up at her side and resting his head on her torso.

 

“Lady?,” she wondered but even in the dark he could see her come to the realisation, “Oh _Ghost_ ,” she cried and curled into him.

 

He wasn’t quite sure what to do. He didn’t want to startle her, or intrude. She’d only had one of these dreams one other time in their relationship, and it had been so early on that she had just rolled over, pretending like nothing happened, while he spent the rest of the night on guard, as though he and Ghost might be able to banish her demons away.

 

He approached her slowly, stroking the hand that held onto Ghost’s fur gently. Her skin was damp to the touch and still shaking.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

 

“Never say that to me,” he said, “Can I do anything?”

 

She held onto his hand, gripping it with an intensity that frightened him. “Just stay.”

 

“Always,” he said, meaning it.

 

He pulled her to him, Ghost snuggled in between them, and did not fall asleep until he heard her breath return to normal and then fade into the gentle pattern of sleep.

 

It wasn’t until the morning, when they were making coffee and getting ready for their days that Jon plucked up the courage to ask her.

 

“Was it Joffrey?,” he said aloud before he could stop himself.

 

She looked at him, putting the almond milk she’d been holding down shakily.

 

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

 

He hadn’t realised until that moment that he’d be hoping she said yes.

 

***

 

Sansa sped along the highway, feeling absently sorry for the cars traveling the other direction, towards the city. It was rush hour and it would be an hour at least before they’d arrive at their desks, already feeling as though they’d had a day before they’d even gotten to work.

 

As she was traveling away from the city there were almost no other cars on the road with her and she felt free to speed a little, blasting music and singing along. Anything to banish the remnants of her dream, or the bitter memories it beckoned.

 

She kept going back to Jon and the way he reacted. He’d approached her like an animal in the woods, as though afraid he’d spook her, and touched her as gingerly as he would a bird with a broken wing. _Isn’t that what I am? A little dove, still in the cage they built for me?_

 

He was so sweet, so patient, but she knew. One of these days his patience would wear thin, he would grow tired of waiting for her to heal, a man did not want a patient for a girlfriend. That was the part that none of the doctors or therapists ever told her - that you can be left in such a state so as to truly become what they called you. They all called her a _survivor_ an _inspiration_ but she didn’t feel like one. Some days she felt like nothing at all.

 

“Siri, Facetime Ella,” she commanded.

 

There was only one thing to do when she felt like nothing at all.

 

“Auntie Sansa!!!!,” Kitty said answering the phone, her little face squished up against the screen, “Where are you going?”

 

“I’m going out to the Children’s Home,” Sansa said, her eyes on the road, “What are you up to, where’s your Mommy?”

 

“Here, Dovey,” Ella said, her face appearing behind Kitty’s. She was dressed in exercise clothes and Kitty palmed Grey Wind’s face as he too tried to sneak into the frame. The dog only licked her palm in response and Sansa was warmed by her giggle. “Are you going to see Sadie?”

 

“I think she should be there,” Sansa nodded, “Anything you want me to ask her about Sunday?”

 

“Just ask her if any of the kids have allergies or dietary restrictions. We are doing a big roast dinner, since it’s too cold to cookout, and I just want to make sure I’m not forgetting anything…,” Ella said, gradually raising her voice as Kitty took the phone and wandered about the room with it.

 

“Talk to me Auntie Sansa,” Kitty requested with a hint of frustration in her voice.

 

“Of course, my love,” Sansa said with a grin. Kitty was many things, but patient was not one of them. “What are you going to do today?”

 

“Mommy and I are running errands, and if I am _extra_ good I’m going to get a treat,” Kitty said.

 

“Oh wow,” Sansa answered, “Do you think you can be extra good?”

 

“I don’t know,” Kitty said truthfully and Sansa heard Ella snort across the room. “What do you think the treat will be?”

 

Sansa had learned early on not to play these games. Whenever she mentioned something as a possibility her niece and nephews took it as an absolute. Robb had never _quite_ forgiven her for when he’d had to dress up as Princess Elsa for Halloween after she’d casually suggested that might be what he was considering.

 

“I don’t know,” she said, “But if I know your mommy, you’re going to want it…better be extra good.”

 

“I’ll try,” Kitty promised.

 

“Alright my love, give your Mommy a hug for me, I’ve got to go inside,” she said as she pulled into the parking lot of the orphanage.

 

“Bye Auntie Sansa - go do great things!,” Kitty called and Sansa felt like she’d been hit in the stomach. It was something her mom always used to say to them as they left the house, never once doubting that every day should be the day when they shared their greatness with the world.

 

 _This is not my morning,_ she thought as she breathed deeply

 

***

 

Jon tried in vain to focus on work. It had been harder than usual after Robb and his conversation at the bar. How was he supposed continue on in his daily life, trying to keep the country safe, when he knew that one amongst them was a traitor? How could he know who to trust?

 

Today was different though. That concern was there, as it always was, but it was dull, vague in comparison to the overwhelming fear he had felt in his bones when Sansa had told him that her dream wasn’t about Joffrey.

 

He hadn’t pressed her on it, he hadn’t wanted to push her, not when she clearly hadn’t wanted to go on, but now he found himself wishing that he had.

 

When he couldn’t take it any longer, he opened up his web browser and typed her name into the search engine. Searching someone was apparently part of dating nowadays, but he had never done it. When people searched their potential partners they were looking for red flags, something to tell them that they shouldn’t be with the person, but Jon had known that there was nothing that he could find that would make him turn away from her so he hadn’t seen the point.

 

Now though, he felt like he needed to know. He knew what he was doing was wrong, telling himself that it was considered common knowledge if it was on the internet did nothing to assuage his guilt, but it was driving him to insanity. Nothing had changed, there was nothing he could learn about her that would take him away from Sansa now, especially not something like this, but still he had to know.

 

He was surprised, though he shouldn’t have been, by the number of hits that came up when he pressed enter. Sansa was an heiress, all but royalty in the North, she was active in the community and a beauty. She had also witnessed more than her share of tragedy in her young life. An irresistible combination that, beauty and tragedy.

 

He was surprised as well to see that his name came up as one of the _Other users also looked for…_

 

He looked at the other names that came up. Her parents, Robb, Ella. Joffrey - his vacant handsomeness chilling him to his core. He went to images, and saw Sansa at a charity ball, one of her and Ella walking in exercise clothes holding cups of coffee, Sansa with her head on Robb’s shoulder at her parent’s funeral. _Locusts_ , thinking of the paparazzi who had snuck into the cemetery.

 

He saw a name that he didn’t recognise: Ramsay Bolton.

 

He clicked on his name and pages of photos of a dark haired man loaded. There were many of him and Sansa - the two of them laughing at an event - and others - Sansa walking behind him, her thin arm extended in front of her as he held her hand. Ramsay looked straight ahead but Sansa looked down, half of her face covered in large sunglasses. There was another one, a picture of another girl, a Myranda, with bruises on her face and her arm in a cast.

 

He went back to the main search screen and looked at articles about Ramsay.

 

_Found guilty of stalking. Found guilty of aggravated assault. Found guilty of attempted murder._

 

_Oh my sweet girl, what nightmare did you live through?_

 

Then the most terrifying of all: _What happened to Ramsay Bolton? Satan of Westerosi Society mysteriously goes missing days before his sentence of ten years set to being._

 

***

 

 

“So it will be the twenty children, and the three of us,” Sadie concluded.

 

Sansa finished jotting down her notes and looked up with a smile, “Perfect, and you’re sure there is nothing we should worry about?”

 

Sadie smiled, “These kids would eat _anything_ put in front of them, trust me,” she then got a worried expression, “I don’t mean… the children aren’t _hungry_ they are just growing…”

 

Sansa smiled at the older woman reassuringly, “I know that, you should see how my niece and nephews eat and they’ve never gone hungry a day in their lives. They just don’t know what _calories_ are yet.”

 

The other women chuckled and shook their heads lovingly. They all stood, their meeting concluded, and Sansa gathered their things.

 

“Come dear, I’ll walk you out,” Sadie said, offering her hand.

 

Sansa had known Sadie ever since she was a little girl, when she’d waited while her mother was in meetings with her. She was a warm, plump woman with a reassuring Northern steadiness to her.

 

“How’s Ella doing?,” Sadie asked her. Ella had spent her summers volunteering with the children’s home, much to her mother’s chagrin. _Penance_ , Ella had always said, _For the pain my family has caused._

 

“She’s good, very excited about Sunday, she sends her love to you, and to Bill,” Sansa said.

 

“Trust me, he sends it back,” Sadie joked about her husband. He wasn’t directly involved with the children’s home but acted as an unofficial grandparent to many of the children, often taking a few of them under his wing. The old man had a soft spot for Ella, like so many others. Sadie wrapped her arm around Sansa, “Now tell me, how are _you_ doing?”

 

“I’m good Sadie, don’t worry about me,” Sansa said evasively.

 

“I do worry about you, my dear,” Sadie said, stopping and turning Sansa to her so she had to look at her, “You are my angel, Sansa, I couldn’t - we couldn’t do what we do here without you, do you know that? But it doesn’t have to be one-way. You know if you ever need anything…”

 

“I know Sadie, thank you…,” Sansa said and wrapped her arms around the woman, squeezing her tightly.

 

The woman hugged her back, and over her shoulder she looked at a group photograph.

 

“Is that Winterfell?,” Sansa asked, and Sadie released her and turned.

 

“Oh yes,” Sadie said, “That was one of the first years your parents opened their home to us. I thought the children were going to faint.”

 

Sansa stepped closer, looking at all the smiling faces. It was one of the summer visits, and they had all gone swimming in the lake and horseback riding. She had been only five at the time, and hadn’t understood why the children had to leave at the end of the day.

 

One little boy caught her eye. It wasn’t the dark curls that did it, it was the expression on his face. He was smiling, but almost begrudgingly, and there was something already wise in his young face. It was a face that said _I know this won’t last_.

 

“Sadie I’m sorry if I’m putting you on the spot but… do you remember that little boy?,” she asked, putting to him.

 

“That one? Of course, that’s Jon Snow…,” Sadie said with a proud grin. “He’s one of our best success stories. He was picked out of his class by Joer Mormont and has some big job in the government. Won’t tell me exactly _what_ he does so you know its serious business. He’s one of our best donors now, apart of course from your family.”

 

Sansa looked back at the photo, looking at the seriousness that rested beneath the boy’s bright smile.

 

_Oh my love, you too have a broken wing._

 

***

 

“Jon, all alright?,” Robb asked as Jon walked into the pub.

 

He looked nervous, and Jon shouldn’t be surprised, he was almost manic on the phone when he’d asked Robb to meet him.

 

“Did you… did you find something?,” Robb asked him.

 

 _Did I FIND something?_ Jon wanted to yell, even though none of this was Robb’s fault.

 

“Where the fuck is Ramsay Bolton?,” Jon growled.

 

Robb went as white as a sheet and Jon was afraid for a moment that he was going to pass out, but then his blue eyes turned stormy and a crease formed between his brows.

 

“I don’t know,” Robb said, “But when I find him, he’s a dead man.”

 

“When _we_ find him,” Jon promised. He was terrified by the disappointment he felt. He realised in that moment what he’d been afraid to admit to himself all afternoon. That he had been hoping Robb had murdered Ramsay, leaving him to rot in a shallow grave.

 

“Jon… Sansa…,” Robb started.

 

“She doesn’t have to know, she never has to know…,” Jon said, shaking his head.

 

“Ella,” Robb said, his eyes widening at the thought of his angelic wife.

 

“If I know Ella, she would dig his grave herself,” Jon said, nearly smiling.

 

“I know… that’s why she can never know. We have to keep her out of this, it’s the only way to keep her safe,” Robb pleaded.

 

“None of them ever have to know,” Jon promised, “You don’t tell them what you do for work do you? Just like I don’t. They never have to know what we do to keep them safe.”

 

“You really love her, don’t you?,” Robb asked him.

 

“I really love her,” he confirmed.

 

“Then we go to hell together,” Robb said, holding up his beer.

 

“May the gods help the devil,” Jon concluded, clinking it with his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I haven't updated since *February*. Woah, I'm so sorry. Talk about writer's block. Hopefully ya'll will stick with me :)


	8. Chapter 8

Sansa was making dinner when Ghost came and greeted her.

 

“Hi boy,” she said, offering him a fork that had a bit of pot roast on it. He gobbled it up hungrily and licked her hand in gratitude, “Your _real_ dinner is over there,” she said, gesturing to the food bowl she’d long since purchased.

 

“Absolutely not,” Jon said as he walked in. He gave her an apologetic smile, but he was gesturing to the phone in his hand with his other which held a bouquet of winter roses. She smiled and walked forward to take them from him, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.

 

She walked away to grab a vase and arranged the flowers in it. They were beautiful, a deep blue and full, and she breathed in their subtle smell.

 

“Qho- I don’t want to talk about this over the phone. No I can’t tonight. Because I can’t. So what if I am? I will speak to you about it tomorrow. No. No. No. Fine I’ll see you at 9,” he said and hung up with a sigh.

 

Sansa picked up the bottle of wine she’d put out for dinner and placed it wordlessly back in the shelf.

 

“I’m sorry, sweet girl,” he said with a sigh, rubbing his eyes. “I have time to eat and then I’ll only be an hour. I’ll come back here if that’s okay…”

 

“It’s fine,” she said and went back to the stove. She paused and turned around, “I’m not just saying that. It’s _actually_ fine. If you don’t go into work, people die. Cities fall. I get it.”

 

“You make me seem like a secret agent,” he teased, though she heard the solemnity behind that statement, the way he’d gone a bit rigid.

 

“Don’t act like you’re not,” she said and he opened his mouth to protest. “I know you can’t talk about it. I know your official title is Undersecretary of the Undersecretary of Domestic Defence and that’s all I _need_ to know. Just like all I need to know about Robb is that he’s the Head of Securities for Westerosi Sovereignty. I know you’re the things that metaphorically go bump in the night to save us from the _real_ things that go bump in the night, but I don’t need to know the hows or whys. Let’s just agree not to lie.”

 

“I’ll just be an hour,” he said, which was his way of agreeing without acknowledging.

 

“Well we have plenty of time to eat,” she said, “Do you mind bringing this to the table?”

 

“In a minute,” he said and crossed to her. “Can we start this evening again?”

 

“I told you I’m not mad,” she said.

 

“I know that, but you’re tense and I’m tense and I think we just need to breathe for a second, okay?,” he asked her, taking her face in his hands.

 

She looked into his charcoal eyes and it was only once she felt her spine uncoiling that she realised how rigid she’d been. She sighed and nodded, leading a deep breath out. He did the same and his was rickety and nervous so she stepped closer and held him by the waist.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She shouldn’t take her stress out on him.

 

“Me too,” he whispered back, pressing his forehead to hers. “I missed you today.”

 

She grinned, “I missed you too.”

 

He had a way of calming her down that she’d never experienced. Not that any prior boyfriend had really tried but it was like he was her own personal happy pill.

 

He pressed a kiss to her lips and she felt herself melting against him. She opened her lips to him and he slid his tongue in her mouth. She met it with her own and felt as much as heard his groan.

 

“This um…,” he said, gesturing to dinner.

 

“It will stay,” she said and he growled _Thank the gods_ before he reached down and picked her up by her ass.

 

Her legs wrapped around him immediately and he walked them back to her bedroom. It was starting to feel like _their_ bedroom, with a few of his suits hanging in the closet and his contact lens case in the bathroom, but they hadn’t really _talked_ about it yet.

 

She didn’t think now was the time as Jon yanked her dress up and over her. She pushed his suit jacket off of him and pulled on his tie, loosening it and going to let it fall to the floor.

 

He caught it easily and tossed her gently on the bed.

 

“Place your hands together at the headboard, sweet girl,” he said.

 

She did as she was told and he crawled on top of her. He kissed her neck and she closed her eyes in pleasure, so she didn’t notice that he still had his tie in his hands. Suddenly she felt the fabric close around her wrists.

 

_Struggle for me, baby. I love to see you fight._

 

“NOOOO!,” she cried and wrestled free from Ramsay, pushing him off of her and running off the bed.

 

Lady came running in and she collapsed against her, trying to cover herself, trying to hide behind her.

 

“Sansa, sweet girl,” Jon said from the bed, his hands up as though surrendering. “It’s me, Sansa, I won’t hurt you, I’m so sorry I didn’t think, sweet girl you’re safe, listen to me, you’re safe.”

 

She looked at the dog covering her and realised it had white fur instead of grey.

 

“ _Lady_ ,” she wept, burying her face in his fur. He was so steady and he pressed himself against her, letting her rest all of her weight on him.

 

She tried to get a hold of herself and breathe, tried to remember what her therapist said, _think of something safe._ She tried, she really did, but there wasn’t enough air.

 

“Sansa, sweet girl,” Jon said from the bed but it felt like it was from a different room, a different country, “I need you to breathe.”

 

_I’m trying._

 

***

 

“Thanks for coming,” he said grimly and Robb placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

“You did the right thing,” he said.

 

Ella hardly looked at him and walked towards the bedroom. He and Robb followed her, and he for one was gravitating towards her calm purposeful demeanor.

 

“Hi Dovey,” he heard her say softly.

 

“Ella?,” he heard Sansa croak out. She must have cried herself hoarse in the twenty minutes it had taken them to get there.

 

“Yes, my love, I’m here,” Ella nodded and stepped into the bedroom. He and Robb waited on either side of the doorway and watched as Ella approached her cautiously.

 

She knelt down on the ground about five feet away from Sansa, still wearing her light blue wool coat.

 

“Please don’t touch me,” Sansa said, still cowering, even from her best friend, the gentlest woman Jon had ever known.

 

“You know that I won’t,” Ella said, as though she’d said it many times before. “I’m just going to sit here, okay?”

 

Sansa nodded, but her face was still in her palms and she still had tears streaming down her face steadily.

 

“Theo cantered today,” Ella said after a few minutes. “You should have seen him, he was laughing the whole time.”

 

Sansa removed her face from her palms and looked up at her. She was still crying but she looked at Ella expectantly.

 

“And Billy read out loud to the whole class,” Ella said calmly, though there was pride in her voice, “He said you talked to him?”

 

Sansa nodded slowly, “He…said he was scared to mess up.”

 

“He told me you told him that it was okay to make mistakes, that it’s part of learning, but the important thing was to be brave and try,” Ella said and Sansa nodded, “He said _I was brave like Auntie Sansa_.”

 

Jon looked over at Robb questioningly who was standing there with tears of his own running down his face. He saw him looking and he said, “The kids always work.”

 

“I don’t feel brave,” Sansa said and crawled into Ella’s arms.

 

Ella shushed her and stroked her hair, “You are the bravest person I know. Tell me three things you like about yourself.”

 

“Ella…,” Sansa pleaded.

 

“I’ll go first, okay?,” Ella asked, “I like how you always make me feel important, even when you’re busy or stressed or tired, you always make me feel like I can come to you, that I matter. I like how you’ve taken your immense privilege and dedicated your life to helping other people less fortunate, how you make them feel worthy and special, how you don’t let circumstances define them. And I like that my children look up to their auntie, that you’re setting an example for them of what it is to be brave and strong, and how sometimes that means asking for help. Your turn.”

 

“I can’t…,” she said.

 

“I like how you always call me on Dad’s birthday,” Robb said, stepping forward slowly so as not to spook them, “It’s always my hardest day, and you always call first thing and tell me how you saw a commercial that made you think of him. I like how much you worked on your relationship with Arya, how she’s come to depend on you like we all do, even though she didn’t make it easy. I like when my daughter comes downstairs proudly wearing a new dress saying _Auntie Sansa made it especially for me because I’m especially to her._ ”

 

He had knelt down and placed his hand on Sansa’s head, not touching her anywhere else, as though over the years he’d learned.

 

“I like the way Ghost thinks of you as his now,” Jon said, stepping forward.

 

“Jon you don’t…,” Sansa started.

 

“He whimpers when we leave you and he watches over you while you sleep because you belong to him now. I like the way you calm me on my bad days, the way you look at my and say _No matter what, I’m with you_ and you don’t push, you just let me know that you’re there,” he continued, “And I like that you’ve opened your heart to me, even though you had no reason to.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Sansa said and removed herself from Ella’s arms.

 

He hadn’t realised he’d knelt down until he felt her throw her arms around his neck. He looked at Ella questioningly and she nodded so he wrapped his arms around Sansa softly.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jon said, “I didn’t think, I’m sorry.”

 

He hadn’t told Robb what had set her off, but he knew the fact that Sansa was in her underwear and bra, and the way the bed was mussed would give him a pretty clear idea. Even still, Robb wasn’t looking at him with any animosity, only at her with quiet worry.

 

“I like that I can tell when you’re having one of your bad days,” Sansa said in his ear, “That I know you well enough to know and how to deal with it,” she turned to Robb, “I like that I’ve gotten to see you turn into a man that Mom and Dad would be awed by, and that I’m somehow someone you draw strength from so that you can be strong for everyone else,” and then to Ella, “I like that I’m somebody you trust your children with, that you feel confident knowing I’ll keep them safe and happy and well loved.”

 

Ella kissed her forehead and stood up, disappearing into the closet and coming back with a pair of pajama pants and a sweater. Sansa blushed and took them, pulling them on over her bra and underwear.

 

“Do you guys have to get back for the kids?,” she asked Robb and Ella.

 

“No,” Robb said, “Rickon and Bran have them.”

 

“So they’ll be good for at least the next twenty minutes,” Ella teased, making Sansa smile for the first time.

 

“I think it’s time Jon learns about Ramsay…,” Sansa offered, “Will you guys help me?”

 

“Always, Dovey,” Robb said.

 

“I’ll put on a pot of tea,” Ella nodded.

 

He sent Qhorin a text saying that he wouldn’t be able to make it. Something told him this was going to be a long night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had to remove some of the tags for this one. I don't feel 'fluff' is an apt description here.

It took three more months. Three more months of searching, of back room deals, of calling in favors. Three more months of falling more and more in love with Sansa, of starting to truly build their life together.

 

"You're a hard man to find," Jon said with a harsh chuckle. "I bet you thought your mongrels would keep you safe."

 

"But where are those hounds, now?," Robb asked from his side, "Do you think they go to their gods as we go to ours?," he asked almost casually. He might seem conversational, curious, if he wasn't tossing a crowbar back and forth between his hands. "Sansa, you remember Sansa, don't you Ramsay? Red hair, blue eyes, _my little sister_?," he asked and kneed Ramsay in the groin. Ramsay cried out and Robb nodded, "Oh good so you _do_ remember. This will make things so much simpler. So you see, Sansa would tell me that all dogs go to heaven. Or she would have, once upon a time," he growled, "Before you let those hounds of yours _bite_ her, and chase her and terrorise her."

 

Robb took the crowbar by either end and rotated his body like he was hurling a disc, bringing the base to Ramsay's jaw. Blood hit Jon in the face and three teeth fell to the floor. It was a good start, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

 

“I wonder if Lady was there to greet them when they met their maker. I wonder if they’d recognise her. She wasn’t whole the last time they saw her, was she?,” Robb growled, taking one of Ramsay’s hands and shoving back so hard that he broke three fingers. Ramsay gritted his teeth but he couldn’t hide the low wail. “Poor sweet Lady, Sansa’s best friend, who you _stole_ from her. Just like you stole her _innocence,”_ Robb growled, punching him in the chest, “And her _pride_ ,” he said, kicking out his legs, “And her ability to _feel safe_.”

 

He was desperate for a turn, but he couldn't deny Robb this. He was the one who'd rescued her in the first place. The man who'd found her broken and bleeding, who had sat with her every day in the hospital despite having two toddlers at home. The man who had sat in the witness stand next to her while she testified against him.

 

He hardly looked like the man he'd come to know and respect. There was none of the tenderness in his gaze that he had when his little girl crawled into his lap or the easy humor he had with his sons. He looked like a wolf, wild and violent.

 

He took the crowbar in one hand now and moved to hit Ramsay again.

 

"Robb!," they heard from the stairs. Even as a wolf, that voice straightened Robb up immediately, it appeared that she could reach him anywhere.

 

"Ella go back upstairs," he commanded, his eyes on Ramsay, ”I don't want you here for this."

 

They had both tried so hard to keep it from her, but she had cornered them one night after one too many hushed conversations, after he had left the room during dinner one too many times.

 

_“Are you guys going to tell me what’s going on?,” Ella asked, her hands on her hips in the garage._

 

_“Ella it’s -,” Robb started._

 

_“Do not lie to me, Robb Stark,” Ella warned, “Your nose just twitched. You don’t lie to me. Not ever.”_

 

_Robb looked down at his feet and sighed._

 

_“Sansa thinks one of you is cheating,” Ella said and Robb’s head snapped back up, “I don’t agree with her, but I’m running out of excuses for you two. Now tell me what is going on.”_

 

_Jon hadn’t forgotten his promise to Robb. He wouldn’t involve her, he’d do whatever he had to do to keep her safe, to keep her out of it._

 

_“It’s Ramsay,” Robb said._

 

_“You found him?,” Ella asked, her eyes wide._

 

_“Not yet,” Jon said, “If we’d found him, he’d be dead already.”_

 

"Then you shouldn't have brought him here," she pointed out, stepping off their stairs and walking over to Robb. He knew her too well to think she might flinch away from Robb's manic gaze or the blood streaking his face. She held her hand out for the crowbar and he saw Robb hesitate. He’d just seen Robb beating a man within an inch of his life yet it was this hesitation that frightened Jon most. He’d never seen him deny her anything. She didn't cower though and said calmly, "Robb, your children are right upstairs. I need you to calm down."

 

That did it and he handed her the crowbar, stepping away with a deep shaky breath. Jon wanted to put his body in between Ramsay and Ella. Even with Ramsay restrained at both hands and feet, he didn't like her this close to him. He was feral, and the idea of him breaking free had Jon tense and alert.

 

"You'll have to forgive my husband, Ramsay," Ella said almost sweetly, as though they had arrived late for dinner, "He get's carried away."

 

"Myrcella, please," he whimpered, "Help me."

 

"Shhh, shhh," she soothed, stepping closer to him like she might stroke his hair. Jon went to restrain her but Robb gave him a look that stopped him. She leaned in and said softly in Ramsay’s ear, "If you think I'm your chance for mercy, you haven't been paying attention."

 

Before Ramsay even had a chance to growl at her, Ella shoved away from him and took the crowbar in both hands like a baseball bat and swung it into his abdomen. Jon heard at least one rib crack and Ramsay couldn't even double over, he simply slumped against his restraints.

 

She rested the crowbar on her shoulder, holding it with one hand as she paced almost lazily back and forth.

 

"Did Sansa ever tell you that I'm a Lannister?," she asked Ramsay, and he didn't look at her, he just spat more blood onto the floor. "The name on the birth certificate says Baratheon, of course, but my eyes and hair tell a different tale. Anyway," she said, as though it didn't much matter, "Have you ever heard of the Reynes of Castamere?"

 

Ramsay looked up at her and chuckled. He was missing his two front teeth and he was beaten and bloodied and yet the look he gave her was almost lustful. He was looking at her like she was magnificent, which she was, but like he wanted to conquer her, like he _would_ conquer her.

 

"Answer her," Jon ordered, having long been her loyal foot soldier.

 

"The story goes that your grandfather and his men slaughtered the lot of them in cold blood," Ramsay said in his measured tone, seemingly unafraid, just stating the facts as though he respected them.

 

"That's right," she nodded, like he had just gotten a math problem correct, pacing away from him, this way and that, looking anywhere other than him, “The charges were dropped of course, but between _you_ and _me_ , he was as guilty as the day was long. If he'd have asked me, I would have told him that I thought it was a bit of an overreaction. You see, I don’t have a natural proclivity for violence, not like some members of my family. The Reynes probably didn’t deserve to die, not like that. Mine is a forgiving nature, and I would have pardoned them,” she said and picked the crowbar off of her shoulder and held it in front of her, surveying it. She turned back to look at Ramsay then and said, ”But then again, the Reynes didn't torture and rape my best friend."

 

With that she took the crowbar and jammed it hard into his groin. It was the first scream they'd gotten from him and Ella was shaking as she let the crowbar drop to the floor.

 

She turned to him and Robb and said, "It's 1 am, the kids will be up at 6. I want this filth out of my house by then."

 

"You got it, baby," Robb said and Jon could hear the love and pride in his voice.

 

The three of them watched her go and when Jon heard the door close he turned to Ramsay.

 

"We haven't been personally introduced," he said. "But according to Ella, we have five long hours to get acquainted. Where shall we begin?”

 

***

 

 

Sansa woke with a start. She’d been having that dream, that familiar dream with the house that she couldn’t escape from. She heard that voice, the one that could still make her blood run cold but then just like that he was _gone_.

 

She looked at the clock, it was three in the morning. Jon’s side of the bed was still not slept in and Ghost was tucked firmly to her side.

 

She checked her phone and saw that she had a text from him: _Hi sweet girl, I’ll be working late and don’t want to wake you. I’ll come take you and Ghost out for breakfast in the morning._

 

She texted him back saying: _Come home, even if it’s late. Our bed isn’t the same without you._

 

He had started moving his things in slowly, but still kept his apartment. She wondered if he’d always want to keep it. He’d told her how important it was to him, owning his own place after growing up without a home. She didn’t want to rush him, but she’d rather put his name on the deed of her apartment than spend anymore nights apart. She couldn’t help feeling like a part of him maybe liked having an escape route.

 

 _Failed to Send_ , popped up on her phone screen. That was odd.

 

She texted Ella saying: _Jon didn’t come home again. Are you sure?_

 

To her surprise, she received a text from Ella right away: _I’m sure, Dovey. Jon would never cheat on you. You have no idea how much he loves you._

 

She knew Jon loved her. He told her every day, he even told her when they were fighting, as though to assure her that he wasn’t going to walk away. She even knew he loved her to the point of madness. There was a fervor in his eyes when he looked at her sometimes, that she’d only seen when Robb looked at Ella but even still.

 

_Sansa: Why are you up?_

 

_Ella: Can’t sleep._

 

_Sansa: Me either. I could come out there and we could watch an old movie…_

 

_Ella: No!_

 

_Ella: I’m sorry… I just don’t want you to travel all that way_

 

_Sansa: You could come here…Robb could handle the kids in the morning_

 

_Ella: Sorry Dovey, not tonight. He isn’t home either so I can’t leave._

 

_Sansa: He’s been working late a lot. Are you sure you don’t want me to come out there? I could help with the kids in the morning._

 

_Ella: I’m sure - do not come here._

 

That was odd. Sansa was always welcome at Winterfell, even in the middle of the night. She rarely even called to tell them she was coming.

 

Everyone in her life was acting so strange. The three people that she trusted most had been evasive for months now, and she couldn’t count how many times she’d walked in on Robb or Jon or both hurrying up a hushed phone conversation.

 

She laid back down and thought of her dream.

 

_Sansa: I dreamed Ramsay disappeared. Do you think that means anything?_

 

She was glad that Ella didn’t respond, hoping her best friend had finally fallen asleep. She closed her eyes and hugged Ghost, hoping that she would too.


End file.
